Horse News: May 2014

An official My Little Pony RPG in the works?

Could there be an actual MLP game in the works that ISN'T a piece of shit Equestria Girls tie in? Apparently there is, not only from hasbro, but from the same terrible gaming giant EA. Oh boy.

We here at Horse News have seen a lot of shit in our day on tumblr, most of it involving "social justice warriors" and the color pink, but something happened today we thought we'd never see.

Someone positively encouraging the the good parts of the fandom.

You're my favorite deputy

Early today, Horse-News was sent a video that can only be described as "Pants-Shitting Horrifying".
It is apparently from 2012, and in Dutch, but we sure as hell have never seen it. It features those "Rapist Woody" Happy Meal Boxes, one as Twilight Sparkle.

We have only recently been exposed to these nightmares in the United States, but it appears that Europe has been living with them for quite some time.

Throughout the course of a day or week, we often come across little bits of shit here and there that in no way warrant their own posts. So tonight out of boredom, we've decided to compile some of the little odds and ends together into a post for you to peruse over. Arranged from least to most important, finishing off with the /mlp/ Easter Egg in the game "Watch Dogs".

Welcome to this special 4th edition of Cringe Corner. What's so special you ask? Well you questionable little shit, I embarked on a journey to once again bring cringe to the masses, and I was reminded of the autistic OC and cringe-tastic videos of DakariKingMykan. Videos were watched, sides were lost, and I was ready to share another cringe with you all.

But then we heard him sing.

According to a tweet by Circe Luna, who we are told is the Spanish voice of Sunset Shimmer, we can expect a song from Bacon Pony in the upcoming Rainbow Rocks movie (or in Season 5, we aren't sure).
Below we have the Google Translate version of the tweet to English.

A few days ago, the /mlp/ league was kicked off the 4chan cup's implyingrigged wiki. Wiki admin and /soc/ manager Sexcopter says he got a "direct order from boares[Commissioner DrBorisG] to delete the /mlp/ league and all the pages that was linked to it. Horse News then took to the streets and asked how the people of /mlp/ felt about this and they were outraged. One man said he was going to take his niece to go see /NN/ play on her birthday, and all the basketball-playing kids were sad that they don't get to see /mmp/ tower onto the scene. But, there is hope, as the anon in-charge of the /mlp/ league downloaded everyones page just in case something like this would happen.

A man once said "There are too many pony conventions". That man (who later went on to run his own) was an idiot, especially when he didn't even consider the possibility of a pony convention being held in AMSTERDAM. An Indiegogo page has sprung up for "Hearth's Warming Con 2015", a proposed pony convention in the City of Hoofddorp in the Netherlands.

That's right fucker; Hoofddorp.
That's the name of the City.
It just gets better from there.

Yesterday on Twitter, Japanese manga artist Hiro Mashima, tweeted a photo of a hoard of brand new My Little Pony toys, along with a bunch of ~~moonspeak~~ Japanese characters, which Google Translate informs us reads "I had lots of Pony Goods. Thank You.". And he isn't the only one to let his pony flag fly.

A blue-coded shitstorm is in progress.
At 18 minutes past the hour, the 17999999 and 18000000 gets took place in succession, spelling the phrase "rly tho DASH IS BEST PONY".

http://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/17997691#p18000000

Like every conflict, from the American Revolution to World War II, to Ancient Aliens; the MLP Civil War has left it's mark on History. As such it has earned its very own History (4)Channel special.
Narrated by numerous Anons, and hosted by HN writer Corporal Chelis, you can relive the bloody conflict between the Brony Union and the Equestrian Separatists below.

With the ongoing Battle against the seceding Equestrians, I am sad to bring grave news for the valiant Yank-ee cause. It appears, along with gaining more support, that the enemy has gained ground in Eastern Twitterton. Not only this, but they appear to have erect a new structure as well.

The war against the Tumblr separatist rebels rages on, as troops are called up from as far away as FunnyJunk and FIMfiction, to meet the threat. The Union forces (who are now being called "Yank-ees" due to the separatist's accusations that bronies are all chronic masturbators) have scored a major victory against their Confederate brothers, in a battle called "Entymology Hill"

Now that a few weeks have passed and all the judgements have been rendered, the results are in. Season 4 of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, experienced the most widely inconsistent swings in episode quality of any season, scoring with both the highest-ranked epsiode of the franchise, as well as the lowest.

#shotsfired on Fort Tumblr, as the Confederate Equestrian States have seceded from the fandom, in an effort to create a new fandom, unaffiliated with the Bronies. Confurriate General "Stonewall" Pawsmilk captured Fort Tumblr 9 hours ago with an army of over 3000 notes, enough to take the tiny segment of the Brony nation with it. Word eventually reached fandom headquarters in Washington EQD via telegraph.

President Sethisto Lincoln has responded to the secession by stating that "A fandom divided against itself cannot stand", shortly before returning to playing League of Legends and letting his Generals handle the rest.

Following this week's release of "Fall of the Empire", Silly Filly Studios will be the next major fandom entity to jump ship on the community.

According to a series of posts on tumblr from the Studio itself, as well as by lead animator Zedrin, the group is pulling the plug on ponies and moving on to "bigger" and better things.

"Staff of Pony Convention Do Not Get Along" + Obsidian Winter Update

The following comes from the Submission box from a user (and evidently current Convention staffer) named Ghostly Hamburger. If you have an article you would like to submit to Horse-News, submit it here.

Picture stolen lovingly from Petirep.

Exclusive transcripts of a convention staff chat have shown that shockingly, convention staffers are not all best friends forever. Some of them are not even friends at all. Internal conflicts make up 90% of the chat, while the other 10% is unimportant questions such as "when is the con", "what's my job again", and "have we made any money like, at all?"

1 year ago tonight, Lauren Faust - one of the main-minds behind MLP:FIM, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Powerpuff Girls, and currently Wander Over Yonder - made a fateful visit to the website that started it all - 4chan.

In the year that has passed since that day, much has happened for the board, for better or worse, but lets take a look back on what was the most exciting night in /mlp/ history.

Ever since HN was launched in January, the staff has been working tirelessly to provide you with everything that the other sites do...PLUS profanity. Podcasts, livestreams, convention coverage, all that stuff. Well today, Horse-News is proud to announce, with our friends Equestria Jukebox, HN will now be providing 24/7 music right here.

Introducing HN Radio.
Why? Because we CAN that's why.
http://www.horse-news.net/p/radio.html

Take a peek below.

Despite what you may believe, Horse-News is not actually comprised of heartless robots. It is in-fact run by people, and those people do in fact have hearts. More than that, or perhaps more shockingly than that, those people have friends.

As it so happens we have a friend who is in need of a hand. His name is RobbStone and he needs diabetes medication that he can't afford. Because of that, a group of fandom artists is trying to raise some cash with a pony livesteam. The livestream will be offering commissions (with all proceeds going to Robb), and featuring some special guests, including Jan from JanAnimations.

Stream Link: http://new.livestream.com/accounts/8438936/24HourStream/

Describing getting off the ride

How stuff like this slips through the cracks and under the radar for so long is baffling to say the least. Tonight, Horse-News was sent a link to a "Patreon" page for a project called "Bronies: The Series".
What is it? Fuck if we know but we're going to find out.
To the brief overview mobile!

Let's face it, I don't think any of us are strangers to the internet's abundance of "unsightly" material, especially the ones involving technicolor ponies. As it would also turn out, we also have a plethora of cringe to spill over in to something as sacred as our pornography. And oh boy do we have something for you. What starts out with just a few bad designs ends (or at least comes to a stopping point) so badly, it's disheartening to say the least.

(I was told to add something about the uncensored porn so here's your warning. But seriously if you're on this site at work you deserved to be fired)

Who actually reads Fan Fiction? Seriously? Anywho, the reputable news source "Cracked.com" has posted the list for the top six fan fictions with the most horrifying sex scenes. The MLP community was lucky enough to get one of their well written Fanfics on the list.
Catch the details after the break

The Living Tombstone, creator of the popular Discord remix and a bunch of other songs too, has declared this afternoon that the fandom "just weirds him out now" and he is prepared to become less involved in the community.

Many community members speculated that this is signaling his departure from the ride, which Tombstone himself commented upon in further tweets.

Following the "brony" trademark violation issue from yesterday, an HN reader submitted to us, what he believes to be the First PMV ever created (or at least the first one that is still on Youtube).

dustin-shappee-weird-thing's message to us reads:

"After much research (by which I mean play around with google custom search when I was bored,) I found the first PMV! MLP premiered on October 10, 2010, and this video is dated October 30, 2010. I am so happy, and I want my cookies to be chips-a-hoy."

You can watch it below.

Who cares that AJ rocks the bass in this new EG short? We got humanized Flim/Flam. Dem jaws...
Catch the new short after the break.

All hands on deck.

According to MandoMommy (the mother of #HorseFamous musician Andy "MandoPony" Stein), Hasbro has begun making copyright claims on the word "Brony". This marks an aggressive move on behalf of Hasbro, as they have attempted to take legal ownership of the word that adult fans of My Little Pony created to define themselves on the /co/ board of 4chan nearly 4 years ago.

It's the end times. More info below.

As per the standard protocol with the regularly-scheduled monthly shitstorm, things have once again gotten completely out of hand, as one group tries to argue on behalf of the freedom of speech the other tries to argue for...well basically on behalf of hate and the sake of argument.

We have entered Day 2 of, what we are calling the "Shut Your Mouthpiece" saga, and the landscape is now littered with the remains of laptop screens and keyboards that participants have punched in or smashed their heads on, in an effort to cope with the absurdities being spewed forth from the bowels of tumblr and twitter.

And it's far from over.

How the Hell is BABScon 2015 getting us more information than most of the conventions in 2014?

Damn guys get it together. So they sent us this press release, something to do with Crystals, we don't know we didn't read it. Maybe somebody in San Fran learned how to cook.

This morning, after a long day of dealing with Tumblr SJW's yesterday, has brought with it a birthday present of sorts. On May 22nd, a certain Pink Haired Neo-feminist turned 18 years old, officially negating her traditional shield of "I'm a minor" for all her unscrupulous behavior.

Many will remember her long, and seemingly successful campaign to shut down the beloved ask blog "Ask Princess Molestia" on tumblr, run by artist John Joseco.

Well just after midnight, followers of Joseco's other tumblr "Ask Gaming Princess Luna" were treated to a bit of a surprise. It appears that the Princess has returned, and may be getting back to her old self again.

Earlier this evening, a Horse-News writer posted about the latest in an ongoing struggle in ideologies, between the social justice warriors (and brony-hating neo-feminists) of Tumblr, and the often-irreverent Anons from the birthplace of the fandom: 4chan.

Through reading the comments across many outlets, it has become apparent that many of those involved do not understand one's side of the argument oftentimes, and have discounted their opinions as worthless because of it. As a result, one person has seen fit to send HN a letter, titled "Why We Laugh At Rape Jokes, and Why Pinkie Would Too" in an attempt to explain, what they personally see as the "other side" of the dispute.

The letter is reposted in its entirety below.

Tumblr, a social website designed almost exclusively for the reposting and remixing of other people's content, as well as being ground zero for levels of asinine social activism, once again lodged their own skulls squarely between their own buttcheeks today, with a post that sparked yet another shitstorm. Today a user called "plumsweet" stepped up to be the latest in a long line of SJW's who try to use Ponies as their mouthpiece (on the eve of one infamous user's 18th birthday no less).

What followed is exactly what you would expect.

She has HUGE amounts of talent.

It may surprise many of you to know there were things that happened at BABScon that were NOT shitstorm related. For instance; our ~~Mexican~~ writer Chelis actually did some interviews. We kinda forgot about them. But, we remembered and are now going to post them. First up, we have Strumpetchan. It's "Who Are You, and Why Should I Care?" with Chelis. Check it out below.

Kibbie pls

Club Luna returns to the Southern California area for a second straight year!

Details after the break!

Do you live in Seattle?
We're sorry to hear that.
But here; take this discount code from Enterplay, the makers of the My Little Pony Card Game.

Hasbro gets confused, plans Valentines Parody event for Memorial Day weekend

As per usual, Hasbro has made a promotional event that has many either greatly excited or deeply confused. This Friday, they will be celebrating the "Villains" of the Hub with a marathon of shows highlighting supposedly bad behavior. They are dubbing the event "Villaintines Day", an obvious play on the holiday "Valentines Day" that takes place in February. Instead of February however, they have chosen to have this event...on Memorial Day weekend in the United States.

Are you ready? No? Well too bad. The moment we've been dreading has finally been announced. The doomsday clocks have been set and the conspiracy theorists have garnered their tin foil hats.

The Rainbow Rocks premiere date has been announced.

At 12:05 EST on 19 May 2014, the "M.A. Larson Wings Joke" officially passed away. After a year long struggle, Mitch "Coronate a Bitch" Larson was thanked ironically for the last time, and the joke was pronounced dead at the Twitter Hospital for Meme Veterans.

As time goes on, there is only one thing to be certain of in the fandom, and that is that the content creators are definitely getting better at what they do in terms of complexity and quality. Long Tail Animation is an excellent example of this. Yesterday, LTA posted a video demo for their "Story of the Blanks" project.
In defiance of a recently mentioned "Cease and Desist", the group is asking for input on the animation thusfar, presented in the demo. You can see it below.

After yesterday's loss of Pegasisters Live, many were left asking the question; "what does Everfree Network even have left?". As a group that prides itself on knowing everything and simultaneously nothing, we can tell you the answer is "Not much" (we wanted to use a saying there involving a guy named Jack, but we're all about #professionalism here on Horse-News).

We DO know that the cut runs deep, but how extensive is the hemorrhaging?

"Sonya, she is doing that thing again..."
"You mean hugging?"
"Yea, that."

One of Everfree Network's top rated shows has jumped ship .

More after the break!

After months of little effort and stealing may-mays, Bronies: The Musical will be premiering in a few weeks. We've been covering the development of the project on occasion to let you in on what is sure to be the best hiatus filler for maybe two whole weeks later this year.

Question is, when and where can you get to see the spectacle of sparkling testicles yourself?

From "Rumble from the Tumblr IV"

As we all know, JanAnimations has been in a sort of suspended state in terms of the fandom, most videos removed from his channels thanks to the anal blasting from Hasbro Studios. Fortunately HN and some amazing anons were able to preserve most of his videos, as well as other fan works, but unfortunately there's still no end in sight to the current C&D drama.

However, several days ago Jan released a video that would lead to a great new opportunity. He will officially be joining the ranks of the recently formed "Important Studios".

No matter how outlandish we may seem at times, the Horse-News staff is always about embracing reality. And today we embrace the reality, that pony-entertainment, is going to be pretty tough to come by for quite some time. HN articles will likely be noticeably slower to come out, because, there just won't be as much to talk about. That being said, we are going to do our best to keep everyone entertained, by sharing something interesting once a week to participate in.

For week 1, we have the opportunity to get you in on the ground floor of something that looks like it will be an ongoing source of entertainment - an illustrated "Choose Your Own Adventure" in the form of a Tumblr called "Adventure of Octavia"

Continuing their now time-honored tradition of fucking up miserably, the My Little Pony / Hasbro social media managers dropped the ball again yesterday, releasing this image, signifying Discord as being of greater importance than Spike the Dragon.

In a move long anticipated by rap fans everywhere, "Rapper" Lil Wayne has come out of the Brony Closet and will be making a guest appearance on Friendship is Magic as Zecora's Cousin "Burchell". Burchell's character, like Zecora, also speaks in rhymes, but upon meeting Pinkie Pie, busts out into a full-on rap duet, sources tell us.

Setting their children up for a life of greed and unreciprocated romantic advances, (or in all-likelihood a long career of stripping) no less than 7 couples named their children (we presume all daughters, but we're also cisgendered scum), after the cartoon horse Rarity.
And it doesn't stop there.

After the complete and total ~~assmad autistic failure~~ success with our last Cringe Corner©, we decided to bring you something even worse. It appears that Tumblr© has now leaked in to both blogger© and Horse News© comments, with the social justice™ warrior blogger™ that no one even looks at but us, Multiverse© Feeling©™

(Copyrighted by HorseNews©, don't steal this article okay?)

So, it's hiatus everyone. What is there to talk about? Well for most media sites, 2 things; jack and shit. For the next....7..8...something months, HN will be covering drama, 4chan, bullshit, and best of all; conventions.
This month, we have Midwest Brony Fest in Kansas City, and next month, (now that Crystal Mountain has rescheduled for the August ~~clusterfuck~~ deluge of conventions, the ONLY pony conventions in June are Trotcon and Big Apple Pony Con.

There's some other stuff later on, but August...well August is going to be interesting.
Bronycon, Galacon, BronyCAN, and AtlantiQuestria to name a few...but also Grand Brony Gala 2.0 in Tampa Florida.

We hear that Tampa has a theme park centered around a brewery. So naturally this is relevant to our interests.

They sent us a press release today. And we fucking love ~~press~~ releases. You can look at it below.

Source: Derpibooru (no license provided)

According to one of the pony fandom's top researchers[1] (also a namefagging Horse News commenter), best known for his groundbreaking[2] articles "Maybe This Universe is All a Dream" and "Why the Anti-Wolfaboos Are Very Delusional" (link is dead because the moron blocked the web archive from crawling his site), the pony fandom is suffering from an outbreak of the dreaded "Closed Minded" virus[3], and if you doubt the veracity of his claims you are probably infected by it as well. He manages to back this up with cold, hard facts and some very convincing evidence[3], so maybe you'll be cured of your infliction by reading what he has to say below the pagebreak and accepting the pure and honest truth from one of those lost, rare guys who believe in tolerance[4].

We here at Horse News are not shy at all to controversy or even the trivial jabs at our writing abilities. However, after responding to our Cringe Corner article, user xxxSnIpErStOoXeYbBYxxXD went over the line and said we either don't draw or can't draw well ourselves. My god that's simply terrible, as well as insensitive. In fact we were so insulted we wanted to showcase our incredible abilities in a new series we like to call "Horse News Draws". But what exactly did we draw? We wanted to create pieces that would fit the spirit of our site and the board that spawned us, while all together having a deeper meaning than what's on the face, certainly not like some disney drawing.

Rainbow Dash with her favorite phallic objects seemed appropriate.

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