Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old 

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

 

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

The Trot"Con" Fallacy: Anyway, No Refunds

Brony conventions are finally heating up again!  COVID appears to be on the decline, and we're finally able to meet up with our horsefriends in person.  But as you're buying your tickets, remember to practice that old adage: caveat emptor.  One of the newest things conventions are doing is changing their terms of sale after you've bought your ticket (and possibly even after "refund windows" have expired) but before the event is held.  If you can't meet these new changes in their terms, their response is often a simple, "Guess you're fucked lol."

TrotCon — a popular fandom convention being held this July in Columbus, OH — is one of these conventions.  They recently modified their vaccination policy from requiring attendees be "fully vaccinated" to being "up-to-date," meaning a third shot is now required for most attendees.  This change was made after the last refund window closed, and people asking about it are being redirected to this excerpt from their COVID policy FAQ:

Did Iron Will Slap Tom the Rock Due To Scientologist Upbringing?

 Celebrity Minotaur Sits Down With HN, Tells All 

In the aftermath of Iron Will slapping comedian Tom the Rock on live television yesterday on The 94th Annual Pantomime & Barn Dance Awards, there was widespread controversy from the 10,000 or so ponies who heard about it. Almost 1,000 times those who had watched it. The motivational speaker sat down with us to clear the air, once we found a reporter who was free to deal with this urgently vital issue.

Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

 Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

Note: if you want to assist humans who are suffering in the crisis, here is a list of reputable charities to consider donating to.

Click here for previous coverage of the Pony War 2022. 

In the past few moments, Mayor Cheese Sandwich has declared a formal response to Maud Pie's demands, as located in our previous dispatch here. This was during the first round of talks today

The Mayor has once again reaffirmed that he will not be ceding any territory of his town (Ewe-Crying) to Mares' Co Research Company, run and owned by Maud Pie, sister to Pinkamena 'Pinkie'. He has, however, agreed to keep the township politically neutral and unincorporated from NEATO or the Canterlot Council. Here is a roundup of the day's events, after the jump.

 

 Mayor Cheese Sandwich (birth name Zandwichsky) issued a press release today.

The Final Solution: Cleansing the Fandom of Channer Scum

Two of the largest surviving fandom Web sites have decided to quietly make significant rule changes in order to prevent political opinions they disagree with and to kill off a long-lived, innocent OC pony. That's right, they've finally come for Aryanne, and they're doing their best to keep their holocaust on the DL. Don't want the normies who aren't paying attention from discovering their intentions and rising up to protest these authoritarian changes, right?

Seaquestria Fest Exposing Everything, Scapegoats To Hide Ineptitude

Seaquestria Fest is exposing everything!

Seaquestria Fest (or SQF) is a hippogriff fandom convention in the middle of nowhere, Ocean City, Maryland.  Attempting to capitalize on the open wound left in Maryland by BronyCon's departure, this upstart con decided it'd be a good idea to host their event over 100 miles from the nearest major international airport.  That was just the first sign of their ineptitude.  The most recent is their exposure of the details of every staff, vendor, panelist, volunteer, musician, etc. application via open Google Document links.

The Zebra Issue Isn't Black and White

Editor's note: Here we present yet another article from yet another anon on this topic, because why not and we obviously don't have any real content to publish and this is better than nothing I guess.  But seriously, I think this'll be the last one.  I'm 90% sure.

Now, I'd like to preface this article with a bit of introspection. Privilege is a very foreign concept to me, especially after having met so many different people in my short 9 years in the fandom. Coming from a background with a black father and Asian mother, whose resources were taken by hurricanes and internment camps respectively, I still meet people with fair skin and supposed privilege that have lives far worse than mine. I sincerely hope that one day we can follow in Dr. King's words and finally set this racial butthurt behind us. Be you white or black, Asians imperial or jungle, we were all once kangs 'n' shit.

Just Get Better Jokes: Clout, Comedy, and Cancel Culture

Editor's note: This is a response piece to an editorial submitted by a valiant and brave anonymous writer entitled Implying Slavery In Pursuit of Clout.

Let's begin with the title in and of itself, because it speaks to the stunning lack of self-awareness the writer will proceed to portray throughout the rest of the editorial. What the author is attempting to do is to portray anybody who has even a slight criticism with tired, racist jokes as a clout-chaser just doing it for attention. Unfortunately this logic doesn't hold up on several points: chief of them being that everything is done for clout on social media. 

Taking Out the Trash: The Existential Crisis of the Brony Fandom - OP-ED by @SilverEagleDev

Editor's Note: This article is an OP ED fan submitted counter argument by Silver Eagle, in response to the previous OP ED on the same topic.


Man, remember 2012? Those were simpler times. Pony was a paradise back then, when we all bopped along to Avast Fluttershy’s Ass and did the Gangnam Style dance in unison at cons. There was no politics, no factions, no drama, no callouts. We were all one happy family, loving and tolerating each other.

I hate to break it to you, but it was doomed from the start.

Implying Slavery In Pursuit of Clout: An Anonymous Op-Ed

Editor's Note:This article was sent to us by an anonymous member of the community.  We lack the required testicles to have written it ourselves.

This image has been altered to remove any signs of racism

The comedy writer is like the conscience of the king. He's got to tell the truth. And that's my job, to make terrible things entertaining. 

Such is the challenge of a comedian, and usually people who complain about it being 'problematic' and 'extremely subjective' are the least-funny people around. It is true that comedy can be subjective, and far more importantly comedy can simply be unfunny. However, in terms of the latter, people have tried to unpack the reasons behind what makes something 'unfunny.' Comedy is far from my expertise—though I'll indulge in it like a drunk at a bar (or while drunk at a bar)—and I'll not pretend to be a specialist in it nor speak with any great authority; but I have noticed a trend over my life that's worth submitting for the reader's consideration: The people who complain about comedy and those who make unfunny works are not only virtually the same; they are the most tone-deaf, unrealistic, horribly sensitive, weak-willed people you'll find.

I have to start off with that little piece because what I'm writing about today plays into this. I'll refrain from any further waxing on the nature of the subject or delve into anything unrelated and just keep it straightforward to tell what happened, though I'll sprinkle some further quotes from this one comedian to keep things in mind. That being said, let's get the quick rundown of what happened: a funny horse artist decided to do a big meme for his horse artist friend for his birthday and Twitter got mad.

Bronyscot 2019 Hearth's Warming Interviews Dump. More to Come in Update.

Exclusive: Sara Richard Leaving MLP Comics, Tony Fleecs Libel Action

Comic Catchup at Bronyscot 2019, November 9th, Glasgow

Descendant of Salem Witch Gets Badgered by Idiot Obsessed With Orangutans...
Mr. Fleecs Responds to Allegations of 'That Old Prospector'

Okay, okay, so it's only a hiatus, but we have to clickbait as we aren't the bigger press outfits like Equestria Daily... although the biggest press outlets like the Daily Mail need to...  creative tax arrangements don't come cheap. Anyway, Sara spoke to us about her upcoming work up to issue #90 of the comics and, now that Clover Press dropped The Book of Oz, chock full of her illustrations, they're thinking of a second release. SO HIT THEM UP if you want further adventures. More videos from #bronyscot  to come, and our chat from August with Sara and Tony Fleecs is in the video description. Follow us at #ponytv and @HorseNewsMLP





We got to talk to Jesse Nowack, voice actor of Seras from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Red from Fist Master, and a load of roles in Pokemon Abridged, all from Team Four Star. He also had some advice for voice actors in the middle of a transition of gender, having been there himself. He had to redo lines, such as Red's, but he was able to work it all out. This video contains lots of apes, you have been warned. Chelis was directing this video and as we all know is obsessed with Simpsons memes like Dr. Zaius... so is Duke as well, so he has no right to complain, but still.

EFNW Vendor Applications Open

The Seattle-based convention whose executive chairs love to ban anyone with whom they disagree are back and have announced vendor applications are now open.  This is a bit perplexing, as the same convention chair stated they had a 150 vendor deep wait list.  But if you want to take your chances on getting banned for being a mean bully, head on over and throw some of your cash away and remember: The guy running this con was the same one who ran the CMPC fiasco.

"Boycott EFNW" - MLP Convention Head goes on Twitter Rampage

Twitter users from around the world are calling for a boycott of Everfree Northwest today, after a series of over 100 tweets from the head of the convention, Kyle Elliott. Going by the Twitter handle "TheBigKyle1", the President of the Board that runs Everfree Northwest engaged in a dispute with fandom artist Midnight Premier who was removed from the staff of EFNW, following the situation at Crystal Mountain Pony Con. The resulting "turmoil" as the Vice Chair @ColeDaigneault described it, left the EFNW Executive team "shocked". They were not alone.

Is Crystal Mountain Pony Con in a Mountain of Trouble?

"...its worse than I thought"

We've received reports (and screencaps) from a source, who wishes to remain anonymous, that Crystal Mountain Pony Con has recently hit a bit of a snag. The head of vendor relations, Stephen Wintre, is suddenly no longer involved in the convention, which takes place just three weeks from now. This turn of events, coupled with other internal structural issues regarding handling of space and attendance, has prompted multiple vendors to ask for refunds for their reserved spaces. But the problems potentially don't end there. Horse News has secured screencaps of the exchanges between former staff members regarding the issues.

Let's take a look at what's buzzing in the beehive state.

ILoveKimPossibleAlot Allegedly Harasses Vendors, Attendee at Recent California Brony Convention

The White Knight defends KP’s honor

Two vendors and an attendee report they were harassed by ILoveKimPossibleAlot and her self-described bodyguard and “psi-warrior,” Jack Nolan, at a recent brony convention.  The vendors claim they were targeted for “negative” tweets they sent and the attendee claims they were targeted because they wouldn’t buy her art.  Before we get into their stories, we’ll begin below by reporting on the events that led up to these incidents.

Cringe Corner: The Audiowave Dasher's Years of Harassment Megapost

It's a new year and once again, the easily triggered wannabe Brony Musician known as AudioWave Dasher / Ben Jackson / TheGreatTailz / Aeons And Airwaves is back again on his campaign of harassment.

Brony Analyst / Apsiring Voice Actor named "Performance Major" admits to ERPing with Underageb&

Not long after the whole ToonKriticY2K drama that has been going on for a while, with still blurry details about whether justice has been served (it hasn't), and a plethora of apologists from the Analysis Community, another such person has come out of the woodwork and admits he also wanted a piece of that underage titty.

Letters to the Editor: Details emerge about ToonKriticY2K's past actions

The following post contains an unedited letter sent to the Horse News staff, from a reader named Massiker Mollie in response to recently publicized information regarding the alleged actions of ToonKriticY2K. The views and information provided are not necessarily those of Horse News, and have not been independently verified.  

In the hours since the information and details about the actions of ToonKriticY2K were revealed to the public, there have been several accounts and comments from others who claim to have been involved with him, attesting to his alleged behavior in the past. Among them is a recount of an experience dubbed "Abby's Story", which is given by Youtube user Cavatina, involving a personal friend. 

Another comes in the form of a Youtube comment on Vida's video outlining the event by a user named PurpleRoselyn who claims their friend had been "groped by him at a con". It is unclear at this time how many others will come forward with their own accounts in the coming days, but there is one account that was sent to us from a Youtube user named Massiker Mollie who had been in a "rocky relationship" with ToonKritic for several years.

Below, is her unedited letter (only altered spacing for formatting purposes).

Brony "Analyst" ToonKriticY2K Allegedly Solicits Sexual RP and Photos from Minor

Image by moozua

ToonKriticY2K, a self-described pedophile (as seen in screenshots in this article), was recently caught apparently grooming a 14 year old girl in a series of erotic role plays.  Over 500 screen caps of Skype conversations spanning a period of 13 months were recently released, detailing his relationship with the pubescent girl.

These allegations came to light recently in a video released by brony drama enthusiast Vida.  Some of the more damning screenshots are below, along with the video and a link to an archive of all the screenshots.

UPDATE: Video released of ToonKriticY2K's friends asking him to turn himself in to the police: (Mirror)

Artist Complains About Criticism; Is Defended By Coworkers, Fans

In what is becoming a recurring trend, it turns out that we can't actually go a late Spring without some sort of IDW controversy. This time, /mlp/'s favorite artist, Jay Fosgitt, is once again a subject of controversy.