Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old 

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

 

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

Did Iron Will Slap Tom the Rock Due To Scientologist Upbringing?

 Celebrity Minotaur Sits Down With HN, Tells All 

In the aftermath of Iron Will slapping comedian Tom the Rock on live television yesterday on The 94th Annual Pantomime & Barn Dance Awards, there was widespread controversy from the 10,000 or so ponies who heard about it. Almost 1,000 times those who had watched it. The motivational speaker sat down with us to clear the air, once we found a reporter who was free to deal with this urgently vital issue.

BlackGryph0n & Michelle Creber Now Charging $100 To Talk To You

If a 30 minute Skype call with Michelle Creber (Voice of Apple Bloom) and fandom musician BlackGryph0n is your life's dream, you're in luck! The popular pairing is now offering 30 minute Skype sessions for the low, low price of One Hundred United States Dollars. You can purchase these sessions through the Creber, Brown & Company online store (We LOVE the domain name, "BuyMyMerch.com").

Meet Mark

Mark is a simple man. He likes ponies, shakes, and burgers. And he's fucking awesome. In honor of this spectacular human being, we'd like to name him the official Horse News Happy Black Man of the year. Congratulations, Mark.

Season 6 of Friendship is Magic Announced

Thanks Hasbro. 

At the very least, we'll probably finish up with this Season in two or so months, which means a three month-or-so hiatus, the shortest to date after the longest to date.