Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old 

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

 

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

#ScopeForCommunityGuest2019

The look of pure joy and happiness

Another year of conventions is due to start, and it's about time to recognize the one who has put in their dues for all the ones in the past in this totally serious news article, Scope.

Never Forget the Hiatus

Today is a grim reminder that on 11:30 EDT, July 18, 2015, Discovery Communications' President and CEO, David Zaslav, hijacked the programming and ran into the innocent, civilian ponies residing their home channel. However, it is also a time of hope as we need to join together, as one, to wait out these last 10 hours and rebuild and continue to enjoy this show.

Artist's sketch of Zaslav

My Little Lubricants - Edible and Coming Soon

It's been a few weeks since we first heard the proposal. Tonight, we saw the second coming of Lube guy, a representative of a company which has been developing cartoon-horse-inspired personal edible lubricants. Lube Guy returned to /mlp/ to disseminate some updates, including the above photo of the "Twilightly Lavender" Pony Up! Personal Lubricant. We actually had a chance to talk with Lube Guy, whose name is actually Joe,  about the product, which he says is coming to Etsy likely before the Season 5 premier.

How to: Write for Horse News

sauce

So you want to write for Horse News? Great, but there's just one problem though: you can't write for shit. Have no fear future employee, because we've decided to release our step-by-step training program so you can write about a little girls' cartoon, too. So sit down, shut up, and start learning.

"Horse News: The Sitcom" is happening

After thirteen months of pitching our crappy web series, Horse News has finally made it to the big time, signing a ten episode deal with NBC, home to amazing programming like The Slap and Ironside. In fact, our sitcom's intro is now available online for your viewing pleasure. What's it about? Who's on it? 

Well keep reading you lazy shit

Jon Stewart leaves the Daily Show for Horse News

After conservative correspondent Stephen Colbert left in December and South Park allowed PewDiePie on television, it was clear the ratings were not the greatest over at Comedy Central. Daily Show host Jon Stewart was not pleased, and has decided to retire from his ground breaking program to pursue his real dream: writing about cartoon ponies.

Pony sex doll article becomes HN's first 100,000 view article...why?

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Season 5 is finally done with storyboarding; seems like forever

Well Ponies, it's been a fun season. Now to sit and wait impatiently until it starts airing.

— Sabrina Alberghetti (@TheRealSibsy) January 9, 2015

Thanks to an announcement from pretty cool storyboard artist and Mando snake charmer Sibsy, we now know that season 5 is in fact still happening and is just now exiting the storyboard phase of development. We hope.

Horse News gets over 2.5 Million views in just under a year

Holy shit. Thanks everyone...so what now?

Making News up, singing songs, and drinking round the world - Convention Season Commence

Tis the season for conventions, and Horse News is ready to bring  you coverage of....all kinds of them. Today we are happy to announce our upcoming Fall Conventions, for any of you that feel the need to come drink with the Horse News crew in the various cities, as we provide our hard-hitting fair and balanced reporting. Of most intrigue, is our coverage of New York Comic Con, and a little awesome thing called DrawnCon.

THIS JUST IN: Important things occuring in the Brony Fandom!

Click below the break for more information!

Horse News Accepts Ice Bucket Challenge

Earlier today, Horse News was challenged to the charity event that is sweeping the nation, by that one guy Aoshi. Being that Horse News avoids turning down challenges, be they potato salad or otherwise, we accepted. 

David Tennant Coming to MLP? And BronyCon? Let it begin

Somebody took their finger out of the dyke, because the leaks are starting to flow, and flow they shall right into HN's awaiting hands. The rumor mill has begun to churn, largely because My Little Pony fucking loves it's long-held title as "the leakiest show on television". This week's leak comes in the form of the likely future appearance of one Mister David Tennant, of "Dr. Who" fame, in Friendship is Magic, and his subsequent appearance at BronyCon.

Robin Williams Dies At Age 63

Some very sad news for lovers of comedy and acting tonight, as Robin Williams has died at age 63.

Jaxblade saves person from mugging - tests positive for performance enhancing mayonnaise

He is not the hero this fandom deserves....but the one it needs. Tonight, #horsefamous fitness enthusiast "JaxBlade" was witnessed stopping a mugging after the conclusion of BronyCon. The feat was noted to be of almost a superheroic capacity, leading experts to test him. What they found was shocking.

Jaxblade and Jhaller earn their unicorn mayonnaise

Meanwhile in JHaller and JaxBlade's BronyCon suite, Jaxblade teaches Jhaller how to earn the magical unicorn mayonnaise that everyone comes to BronyCon to enjoy. It's what they put on all the JimmyJohns sandwiches by the Hilton.

Scandal! Sethisto Divorces Trixie as his Waifu

The unthinkable has finally happened. Sethisto, world-renowned Trixiefag has as-of tonight, divorced his waifu. At approximately 7pm EST, the head of Equestria Daily, who has been faithful to blue bitch horse The Great and Powerful Trixie, announced that he was done with her. Is there a new pony in the insomniac's life?

HN 24 hour live stream highlights

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     It was a long 24 hours as Horse News played games such as "Brony Con The Game!" (Diablo), "Left For Dead 2", Civilization V and many more.

The 24 Hour Stream

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