Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old 

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

 

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

Did Iron Will Slap Tom the Rock Due To Scientologist Upbringing?

 Celebrity Minotaur Sits Down With HN, Tells All 

In the aftermath of Iron Will slapping comedian Tom the Rock on live television yesterday on The 94th Annual Pantomime & Barn Dance Awards, there was widespread controversy from the 10,000 or so ponies who heard about it. Almost 1,000 times those who had watched it. The motivational speaker sat down with us to clear the air, once we found a reporter who was free to deal with this urgently vital issue.

Frontline Dispatches: Mares' Co Ponies Turn Churn 'n' Boil Reactor Off.

There is a refugee crisis currently happening on Earth. If you want to help there are a list of reputable charities located here

In our last frontline report, we covered the heavy fighting taking place around the Churn 'n' Boil reactor in the north of the shepherd town of Ewe-Crying. The Mayor, stand-up comedian Cheese Sandwich, reports that armed security forces led by Pie Tin have managed to capture the derelict reactor and have forced staff to turn it off.

Experts fear that a crisis is imminent.

Frontline Dispatch: Maud Pie Releases Demands

 Frontline Dispatch: Maud Pie Releases Demands

Maud Pie, the self proclaimed rightful ruler of Cheese Sandwich's campus and farm town in the East of Equestria, has released demands amidst her invasion for the immediate cessation of the conflict. Invading the shepherd's town of Ewe Crying and declaring herself 'Vladdy Maud Pie Tin' and 'Big Daddy Vladdy' she has been making similar demands for weeks that the rest of the Equestrian Council have repeatedly rebuffed as non-starters. The demands were relayed to our reporter by a mediator who listened in.

Today's are similar. Let's dive into what they are:

Frontline Dispatches: 'Vladdy' Maud Pie Tin 'Stalled on All Fronts'

You can see our previous coverage of the ongoing war here

Over the first few days of this conflict, Maud Pie's armed security forces have been steadily advancing from her research commune, Mares' Co, into the neighbouring settlement of Ewe-Crying on the Crying River, and have been making significant gains in various places. However, the operations have slowly stalled as they approached more built-up areas of the town.

What follow is an update of the situation.

 

Frontline Dispatches from Last 24 Hours: Invasion Confirmed

Frontline Dispatches from Last 24 Hours: Invasion Confirmed

If you want to help out humans involved in the Ukrainian refugee crisis, there are a list of reputable charities located here.

 
This morning at 5:55 am, a Trips which will live in infamy, a border dispute between two neighbouring communities has spiralled into all-out war, sparking outrage across all of Equestria. Famed geologist and research leader, Maud Pie, has declared war on the nearby factory owned and run by joke manufacturer and stand-up comedian Cheese Sandwich. At this time, she has accused her soon-to-be brother in law of violating her security, and for complex reasons declared herself 'Vladdy Maud Pie Tin'.