Obituary: The Queen Has Died

Obituary: Queen Fausticorn Dies at 96 Centuries Old 

by Paige Turner, Royal Correspondent

 

Tribute piece by Anon

The Royal Canterlot press office has confirmed that Fausticorn, oldest living creature in the monarchy, and founder of the nation of Equestria, has passed away at ninety-six centuries old.

The Queen witnessed a tumultuous but very successful reign over her kingdom during her period on the throne, from the official founding after helping to banish the wendigoes to the opening of the borders that allowed all types of ponies to live and prosper in harmony. This also included the large influx of migrants during the first century of her reign from former Imperial territories and the Really Massive War, in which she spent service pulling an ambulance cart.

The entire nation of Equestria is in a state of mourning. She leaves behind a nation with rising costs of living on all sectors and increased racial tension partly due to the current war between the security forces of Mares' Co and the comedy campus town known as U Cryin', led by noted comedian Cheese Sandwich (real name Chaz Sandvichskyy).

Politics News Weekend Roundup: NO U, mon brave.

Leader of Prance Pulls a NO U Amidst Tight Race in Polls

Over the weekend, the fighting in Ewe-Crying has been more intense in the Eastern neighborhood of Don'task than it has been since it started. In the meantime, changes have been happening all over Equestria. Lets take a look at the latest updates.

The current sitting governor of the Prance province, Fallabelle Megatron, is currently in a tight race for the polls against incumbent right-wing candidate Neighpoleon, leader of the National Rally. He has so far held his position, but this time it is reported that the squat, dumpy nag known as Neighpoleon is close enough that a projected victory for her is within the margins of error.

Falabelle has pulled a major NO U, also known as a turnabout or tu quoque (pronounced “Two Coke-ay”).

 An artist's impression, by Smoldix on Derpibooru.

"Two nearly identical politicians having an argument, through the eyes of the voter."

Frontline Dispatches: Griffish Isles PM to Send Ewe-Crying Munitions

 Frontline Dispatches: Griffish Isles to Send Ewe-Crying Munitions

In a surprise (and very risky) move, Griffish Prime Minster Birdhorse Johnson has visited the unincorporated Equestrian shepherd town of Ewe-Crying. The PM has pledged 120 armored vehicles and anti-airship systems, and over ß100 million worth of military equipment.

The PM has hailed this as a triumph. However, he has gained flack in recent days, comparing the struggle to his own country's Eggsit Referendum – the country's ongoing feud over employing foreign au pairs who are not griffins to take care of unhatched children. More details after the jump.

 

Cameras were not allowed, so we had to make do with this artist's impression.

Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

 Invasion Dispatches: Mayor Cheese Sandwich Opens Negotiations, Issues Response

Note: if you want to assist humans who are suffering in the crisis, here is a list of reputable charities to consider donating to.

Click here for previous coverage of the Pony War 2022. 

In the past few moments, Mayor Cheese Sandwich has declared a formal response to Maud Pie's demands, as located in our previous dispatch here. This was during the first round of talks today

The Mayor has once again reaffirmed that he will not be ceding any territory of his town (Ewe-Crying) to Mares' Co Research Company, run and owned by Maud Pie, sister to Pinkamena 'Pinkie'. He has, however, agreed to keep the township politically neutral and unincorporated from NEATO or the Canterlot Council. Here is a roundup of the day's events, after the jump.

 

 Mayor Cheese Sandwich (birth name Zandwichsky) issued a press release today.

Frontline Dispatch: Maud Pie Releases Demands

 Frontline Dispatch: Maud Pie Releases Demands

Maud Pie, the self proclaimed rightful ruler of Cheese Sandwich's campus and farm town in the East of Equestria, has released demands amidst her invasion for the immediate cessation of the conflict. Invading the shepherd's town of Ewe Crying and declaring herself 'Vladdy Maud Pie Tin' and 'Big Daddy Vladdy' she has been making similar demands for weeks that the rest of the Equestrian Council have repeatedly rebuffed as non-starters. The demands were relayed to our reporter by a mediator who listened in.

Today's are similar. Let's dive into what they are:

Frontline Dispatches from Last 24 Hours: Invasion Confirmed

Frontline Dispatches from Last 24 Hours: Invasion Confirmed

If you want to help out humans involved in the Ukrainian refugee crisis, there are a list of reputable charities located here.

 
This morning at 5:55 am, a Trips which will live in infamy, a border dispute between two neighbouring communities has spiralled into all-out war, sparking outrage across all of Equestria. Famed geologist and research leader, Maud Pie, has declared war on the nearby factory owned and run by joke manufacturer and stand-up comedian Cheese Sandwich. At this time, she has accused her soon-to-be brother in law of violating her security, and for complex reasons declared herself 'Vladdy Maud Pie Tin'.