Horse News: April 2014

W4H: Arizona resident locked up for cruising Craigslist in search of some Seabiscuit

We here at Horse-News are sad to report that an Arizona brony was recently arrested by the popo on bestiality charges after trying to fulfill the dream ~~all of our readers~~ every one of us craves; of taking a massive horsecock. ~~Doniqua~~ Donald Waelde posted the following ad on Craigslist:

Things went downhill quick. The ad read as follows:

After the fiasco that was Babscon and through the efforts of our staff members (and alcohol), FinalDraft has now signed over the rights to Everfree.net to Horse-News. We now have big plans of returning it to its former glory, but with a modern twist. That being a kinky pornography showcase.

USATODAY has begun the tidal wave of numerous clips of the season 4 finale that we will be getting in the upcoming weeks. Catch the first preview after the break. Also: Meghan DIDN'T LIE.

After Summer Relegation, 4th place Autumn, and a DQ from Winter 2014, the tsundere husbando of /mlp/ has won the same cup they did one year ago. With Captain Hitler and Manager KHS Rowan at the pitch, there was little Sargbot's /diy/, Foojile's /fa/, or The DM's /tg/ could do in the face of such a master race. Best of luck in Summer, and here's to Winter Third-placers meeting once more (in the knockouts hopefully). Find out more about the 2014 Spring Babby Cup here.

A message from Big Red

A reminder: Horse News is the only pony news source with an actual miniature horse on staff.

It was a dark day for Solar worshippers everywhere, when their ~~pink~~ snow-white Princess's purity was claimed by none-other than Mr. Tall, Dark, and Blankslate himself: King ~~Sabra-brand Hummus~~ Sombra. That's right folks, the Sunny D has been given the Shady "D" by the Crystal Meth addict from the Season 3 premier, according to the IDW comics issue #18.

We here at Horse-News fucking LOVE getting your emails, as frankly they are often too ridiculous even for US to post. That being said, we received an email from an anon this morning that just reads "We Found Him".
Who the hell is "him"? We asked, opening the email, with fingers crossed in hopes of some information regarding Jimmy Hoffa's body, or maybe even just old lewd photos of someone more #horsefamous than the rest of us. But no, this information, (which the anonymous emailer labeled as "semi-brony-related") pertained to an iconic figure in image-board culture - the "*tips fedora" man.
Apparently, "they found him".

>Bruins
>Not Ducks
Shiggy

Mandopony released a song that has everyone questioning his goody two shoe reputation... or a sign that /mlp/ and 4chan is in need of more original le ebbin mayz mayz

Story after the break!

Earlier today, another set of tracks was added to the never-ending ride, as a French source confirmed that Equestria Girls will be getting its own series, called "Equestria Academy" in French, that we will be getting more information about this November. This following yesterday's Russian announcement that there will be more movies and more series, on top of the announcement earlier this year confirming at minimum, another 5 years of ponies (seasons 5-8 confirmed).

As it became apparent that fans will in-fact be on the ride until the day they die, a wise investor has already laid out plans and a downpayment on, what he is calling "Rainbow Falls Retirement Home" - a retirement village that will house horse-fuckers exclusively, so that we can all get off the ride together in our old age.

It's a little known fact that there are things that Horse-News actually likes. Among that list are Galacon's OC, charity efforts, actually receiving press releases, harassing MA Larson, and any media group that isn't run by a guy with a funny goatee. By some miracle, we have received a document that combines all of these elements, and as such we feel compelled to share it with you. Those guys at Bronies for Good are at it again, with another opportunity for us to stalk a single website for another entire day, with the "Kallisti IV Livestream Event", starting at noon in the only time zone that actually matters on May 3rd. They are raising money for Galacon's Charity Auction and the "YourSiblings Support Project for Africa"
http://events.yoursiblings.org/

This weekend, tumblr user and supposed brony convention vendor "FuckBroniesForReal" made a post regarding an incident that happened at a recent ill-fated convention, involving an electrical fire.

Rejected Equestria Girls Concepts

When Hasbro first came up with the idea of making a movie with our beloved miniature horses in a different form, the now-Equestria Girls team immediately went to work designing ideas to make this ~~awful~~ ~~unoriginal~~ ~~cliche~~ ~~surefire catalyst of the fandom's demise~~ new concept work. At the end of a long day of ~~basically shitposting~~ hard brainstorming, they presented Hasbro with a list of potential MLP-related spinoff movies.

Rejected for showing guns

Here's a small sampling of the list of the ideas that didn't quite make it, obtained using our patented Horse News Investigative Reporting Techniques™:

Upon the suspension of her Tumblr, Horse-News placed a moratorium on any discussion of on particular Social Justice Warrior, who was responsible for the "Down With Molestia" campaign that cost the fandom one of its most beloved ask blogs. Today, we break that moratorium, because of something that makes us laugh. Today, famous comedian Jim Norton put the Pink-haired Self-Proclaimed "Princess" back in her place.

Confirmed: Sunset Shimmer is coming to a theater near you!

Everyone's favorite ~~cunt~~ waifu is coming back to the big screen!

Details after the break!

According to the Hub Network May 2014 Episode Highlights, given by Kryptonlogic, we now know the origin of the season finale villain, plus other synopsis details of future episodes.

Once again, thanks to Kryptonlogic for the heads up.

“2's not enough when there might be three holes to put 'em in”: A Q&A with artist 3Mangos

While there are many artists that span across the internet from Deviantart to E621, one name has been popping up a lot recently and making a strong headway, 3Mangos. Only starting his blog about 7 months ago he's grown tremendously and has started to really make a name for himself.

Interview after the break.

Communist intelligence has intercepted a Russian article regarding the future of Hasbro and My Little Pony in Russia. Though we have no official translation of the text thusfar, 2 notes have the fandom spooked, one referencing "2 new series" of My Little Pony and "4 movies" of Equestria Girls.
Horse-News takes you now to the War Room.

In their stance of actively trying to remove themselves from their name, Music Television produced yet another program about autistic people living together, only this time they're literally diagnosed with it. There's just one extra detail.

They love My Little Pony.

The Equestria Girls 2 train just keeps on coming down the tracks. This week, another Rainbow Rocks short was released, in which 4chan /mlp/ is clearly visible on the laptop screen of one character. Horse-News reporter SweetieBot snagged a few words with director Ishi Rudell about the upcoming film, to answer some questions regarding the next installment of the human-pony franchise. Check out the Q&A below.

It was a surprisingly busy weekend in the pony community, at the little first-year con in the heart of Downtown Detroit - Midwest Media Expo. Today, Horse-News was among the first to see several big productions of fan-works, as well as some...interesting cosplays. SillyFillyStudios, Eileen Montgomery, and a surprise visit by one of the "Fighting is Magic: Tribute Edition" guys, made for an interesting second day in the Motor City.

U-unf

While we normally post pictures of Pony ass for no reason at all, today it seems we've been with a perfectly reasonable excuse to. Your waifu may have two right legs.

Yesterday we posted the recent EQG short featuring annoying Pink. Little did we know that it featured a few hidden references. Catch the happenings after the break.

New Episodes of Friendship is Recapped - Maud Pie, Leap of Faith, Testing Testing 1 2 3, "Dear Everypony"

Fandom Beat is on a posting spree for the "Friendship is Recapped" series tonight, featuring our friend Catie Wayne (as well as her "Dear Everypony" series) We are turning off the auto-poster for a little bit until they slow down (normally these will only pop-up after episodes air).
The video list below will be updated as new videos get posted.
Check them out below

New Episode of Trade Ya: Friendship is Recapped

Our friend Catie has posted a new episode of "Friendship is Recapped", check it out.

Pinkie annoys RD and fucks everything up as usual. Catch annoying Pink after the break.

The signature reads "Fuck You Horse News - Max"

We take a break from our ongoing coverage of BABScon shit to bring you a few words about a little convention in Downtown Detroit. Yes, THAT Detroit, where Capper and some other folks from Horse-News spend a lot of their time. Midwest Media Expo is taking place this weekend, featuring guests such as ~~that guy who hates ponies~~ Max Gilardi (aka HotDiggedyDemon), Eileen Montgomery (fan VA for Octavia) and SillyFillyStudios.

Coming soon to a web browser near you....

Critics call it the be all end all of racing games...

Loved and loathed by anons everywhere

Daily reminder, best game- /v/

"11/10, better than GOAT"- ign

*cue linkin park dubstep remix*

Some people manage to make accurate predictions by having vast amounts of knowledge and experience relating to the subject at hand, some use computers to make educated guesses using various data-gathering algorithms. More often than not, however, people end up accomplishing this not via intellectual excellence, but by incredible coincidences and blind luck.

Today the fandom ended, and some guy named askteabagcrumpets accidentally predicted it while arguing on Tumblr.

Skipsy, artist and ex-Everfree Radio member, released an essay earlier today detailing his experiences with the once-noble organization, and its perverse transformation in recent times. The doc can be found below, or here.

And so continues the tale of the anons, and the namefags, who carved a deep crevasse of autism across BABScon. Brilliantly.
("There and Back Again" is an epic, multi-part article series posting this week to recap BABScon from this past weekend. Tune in every day this week for a new installment.)

BABScon Staff releases letter regarding Final Draft incident (UPDATED)

After several days of bits and pieces of the story coming out, we have secured a statement from some of the BABScon staff regarding this weekend's incident involving Final Draft. Read the letter in its entirety below.

PostBot: New Pony Info from TV Guide Exclusive My Little Pony Video: Spike Is in Danger!

HorseNews PostBot-Mark II here, bringing you the latest My Little Pony News from TVGuide.com. They posted something about pastel horses and we know that's your thing. Check out the details below, and wait for those lazy bums to come edit this to make it relevant.

At the beginning of BABScon, Horse-News wandered in to the signing room with only one purpose in mind - to harass MA Larson (as per our standard operating proceedure). Our German friend - known to many as "ScarfAnon", had brought with him a few of the almighty relics, with the intent of having one signed by the man himself. During one of their conversations, Larson dropped the news that he was in-fact returning for Season 5.

Obligatory "It's happening"

Anonymous Alert System: 4chan broken, Anons engage fallout shelter contingency plan

4chan breaking is hardly a rare occurrence. In fact the amount of uptime it DOES have is nothing short of a miracle. Earlier today, Moot himself got hacked. And he got hacked bad.

For nearly 7 hours, /mlp/ (and 4chan in general) has been completely unusable, with little indication of when it will return, as such, /mlp/ has engaged their emergency backup plan.

Click below for emergency broadcast information.

Long considered one of the hardest partiers of the entire show staff (perhaps rivaled in drinking prowess only by Lee Tockar), Mitch "Coronate A Bitch" Larson has issued a challenge to the entire community, following his experiences at BABScon 2014. His challenge: create a convention that no one would logically survive - a week long Ponystock.

The Bay Area Brony Spectacular, still reeling from their ill-fated "Come for the Ponies, Exit from the Bridge" PR campaign, is about to have the long, thick, veiny shaft of the law come inside them, according to some sources.

Draco--who formed BlueScreenBronies (now the ~~Bowel Movements~~ Button Mashers) after Equestria Gaming told him where to lube it up and gently shove it--is pretty pissed about his senpai's dethroning, and has taken to using Twitter as the publisher of his next novel.

It is with a quivering hand that I scribe these words, but they are quivers of exhaustion from a weekend well-spent. I shall tell you a tale: a tale of a con in the far-off land of San Francisco.

("There and Back Again" is an epic, multi-part article series posting this week to recap BABScon from this past weekend. Tune in every day this week for a new installment.)

Over the course of the weekend (which Horse-News will recap through the week) it appears a brony super-criminal, or just one with sticky fingers (we'll let you guess why they're sticky), was on a looting spree at BABScon. What was he stealing? Well we can tell you one thing; it wasn't waifus.

>they are not real

Alrighty then! We are back with a new game to review! This time from the great, one and only Tiarawhy! Yes Tiarawhy, the person responsible of those many grade A+ explicit pony animations, such as Double the Fun (my personal favorite), Applejack Plays Poker, My Little Pony: Cadence, Rainbow Dash Eats Out Gilda (self explanatory + favorite), and others. Many others. And non-pone animations, but who cares? This site is all about the equine sexual penetration and mental disorders.
Man, no anthro pones? Come on, bruh. i cri.

The D is for Despicable, Disruptive, and small penis. What, you think that diaper bulge is all him?

This was an amazing weekend for bronies and horsefuckers alike: Babscon attendees got to watch voice actors and writers drink like they were surrounded by retards, Capper general got to shag Boxxy two long nights of steamy passion in a row (special exclusive in-depth report on that when he gets back), and the rest of us got to see Final Draft make an ass of himself. Well, more than usual. And this time he actually faced consequences for it! More on this after the break.

Breaking News: Rough Draft to be kicked from babscon!

Just recently, our beloved friend Peer Edited posted this tweet to his twitter feed:

We're not kidding

Being the ~~better~~ more mature news site, we made sure to maintain professionalism when replying to said Tweet.

More on the story as it unfolds.

UPDATE 11:06 PM PDT

Updates from the Spaghetti Strike Force 7 team indicate that Mikhail Bernstein, aka Final Draft, this evening had his convention badge revoked for reasons currently unknown, though suspected to be related to levels of douchebaggery previously unknown to pony kind.

All we are aware of is that shortly after a panel this afternnon, Final Draft was approached by Con staff, and escorted to another room where they proceeded to ~~anally eviscerate him~~ give him a talking-to before revoking his con badge. Draft is currently a 'hotel guest' at this time and is no longer allowed on con grounds.

Sources indicate that the sound of NEIGHhem San Francisco are currently being downed out by Draft's deep, manly wails of sadness from his hotel room.

Official My Little Pony twitter possibly hacked

Moments ago, the official my little pony twitter started making unusual tweets. Some say the twitter account got hacked, but we here at horse news believe the people over at mylittlepony are just simply trying to send a message to us. They know how many XXL Rainbow Dash shirts get sold every day. They've seen con footage. They've seen Capper.

They are just trying to save us from destroying ourselves with the copious amount of pasta we eat every day.
Do us all a favor and buy some apples instead.

Trade Ya Leaked Stills

Post by My Little Pony.

Its like 4am and Im on a phone. I have no idea if these have popped up elsewhere, but whatever. We recieved an email from a guy named Luke with a bunch of stills from an upcoming episode. All sorts of edginess. Check them out.

What Luke has to say:

"From the 8"x8" Olivia London picture book Welcome to Rainbow Falls comes your first glimpse of a new MLP villain. And she's REAL edgy. Also, have a Discord Lamp tent, the Daring Do tent we briefly saw in the clip, and a few less interesting pictures, including some sort of .... throne?"

More below

This evening Sethisto was finally coaxed into going to bed after spending the past few years in a caffeine-fueled state of semi-wakefulness, thanks to a rather relaxing hypnosis video starring his favourite cartoon horse. General reactions varied from horror and disgust as to why the fandom's patron saint of virginity would be looking for pony hypnosis on the internet in the first place, to that sudden feeling of unimaginable terror felt by EqD's staffers as they realized that they would actually have sift through emails and write articles by themselves for once without their mentor to guide them.

Doctors have been unable to confirm whether or not this truly is the long sought after cure for insomnia, but if you're feeling especially brave tonight you can download the file from this not at all suspicious link.

What happens when you combine Diamond butt, boring orange, and pawn stars?
You get next Saturday's Episode. Catch the first new Ep clip after the break.

While most of us are prepared for what's to come from the season 4 finale, non of us are prepared for 2 1/2 hours of "shaking your tail" that's coming to us.
An extended version of the EQG2 music video has been released. Catch it after the break.

After many months of planning, shilling, and coordination, the most anticipated weekend of the year is finally upon us. BABScon starts tomorrow officially, but many of the key players are arriving on the scene throughout the day today. Horse-News will be providing continuous coverage throughout the convention, and will be posting tweets and updates as well as performing interviews and maybe even trying our hands at video again.
Tweets about "BABScon"
For coverage of today's events; we have provided the twitter feeds of several Horse-News affiliates below.

Throughout this fandom's relatively short history, the community has found triumph and pride in identifying their more-famous, more-important counterparts. Celebrities like Andrew WK and Gabe Newell it seems, were merely the tip of the iceburg. Today it was confirmed that bronies had finally done it - they infiltrated one of the largest, most powerful companies on the planet; Coca-Cola.

The visions...they are staring again...

It's happening:
http://press.discovery.com/us/hub/press-releases/2014/princess-twilight-sparkle-struggles-prove-her-3040/
Full text of Press Release below
Twilight Princess is Go.
Will the Discord rumors turn out to be true?

Yesterday, a twitter user named "SonHiram" made a post about his desire to assault any brony he finds leaving his local McDonald's restaurant in Houston. While we are sure this is still a common sentiment that many ass-ravaged internet users share, he still made the mistake of posting it, as no pony-post ever goes unnoticed by the community. What followed was a full-day of continuous twitter and tumblr bombardment by the community, proving once again, that the only people allowed to mess with pony-fans is other pony fans.

Orchestra Performs MLP Opening theme, with ballet.

People's number one complaint about Horse News (after the virtue of our existence) is our perceived vulgarity; a claim that implies the notion that we lack knowledge of, or appreciation for, the finer things.

Well guess what? You want some fine art, we'll give you some damn fine art. Above is a video that hasn't received much attention (because you all secretly don't care for the finer things either). It features a full orchestra and a ballerina performing an original composition of the My Little Pony opening theme.

YEAH. Orchestra AND a ballerina. This is practically homework.

~~If there is one thing~~ there is only one thing that Buzzfeed is good for, and that is making enormous stupid lists.
While a solid 99 percent of these should go completely ignored, we were recently sent a link to a topic very near and dear to us: our overwhelming amounts of privilege. Once and for all, you can finally determine if everything those Social Justice Warriors have been yelling at you has been true or not, with a concrete privilege percentage score. We here at Horse-News recently had our staff take the exam, and were shocked at the results.

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