Lights! Lights! Lights! Wake up! Ponies on the Screen, 5 4 3 2, and 1!

6.09 - "Saddle Row & Rec"

21. May 2016
08:30 PST / 11:30 EST

Man with pony tattoo regrets his decision

SAN FRANCISCO - "I don't know what the hell I was thinking," said local pony fan, Kurt 'Bolt' Grohl. Two years ago, Grohl committed himself heavily to the fandom, going as far as to even get a tattoo in honor of his new favorite show.

Defeated, through a face buried in his hands, he continued "no one will even take me serious anymore," with tears streaming through his two-inch nose gauges.

PRO MLG 420 NO SCOPE CONSPIRACY THEORY: What if Flurry Heart is actually Starlight Glimmer?

Yeah, I know it's spelled 'Flurry Heart'. I bet 'Fluffy Heart' would have sold more toys... but not McFlurries.

Tonight while shitposting on Twitter I noticed something pretty obvious: That Flurry Heart looks a lot like Starlight Glimmer. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense:Starlight Glimmer was recently introduced out of nowhere, she's strangely powerful for a unicorn and the only constraints on her time travel come from her own self control. If you've got nothing better to do read more after the break as we try to justify Flurry Heart's existence.

Libya Loves Horses more than We Do

This past semester I have been conducting a bit of research on the Middle East, adding tremendously to my poor search history that probably already had me high up on the government's watch list. But, somewhere in the midst of typing "ISIS" into a Google search bar hundreds of times, I stumbled upon a very interesting section from the Tripoli Post of Libya.

You can't make this up: http://www.tripolipost.com/equestrian_news.asp

Op-ed: AnimatedJames, Leekfish and the Third Rail of Honesty

Editors Note:  NewsieLicious is a Horse News Member that offers in-depth analysis on fandom culture. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely his.

If you still haven't heard about AnimatedFishLeekJamesGate, crawl out from under that rock and grab a pitchfork and some stale popcorn.

Recently, an article was posted here on HN that lambasted AnimatedJames for his recent video, "The Truth about the Brony Fandom". In the video, he says the fandom has lost touch with one of the show's core values, honesty, in its seemingly unanimous resistance to people who may be considered "brutally" honest. He concludes that this hugbox mentality will slowly unravel the fandom we know and love, as nobody wants to be the one to tell people when they really need to just stop.

Here's the thing, though: I think he's right.

Horse News movie night cancelled

Nevermind, apparently it was a privates party. Get it? Well? Do you?

Fluttershy pissed herself

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THIS NERD! SHE PEED HERSELF IN PUBLIC, WHAT A FAG! AIN'T NOBODY GONNA WANT THAT RANK ASS POON, LOL!

New teaser for Rainbow Cunt

Next in the series of teaser trailers for the sexy and kick ass season five, Hasbro released the new Rainbow Dash teaser several hours ago. Also they tried to sell us some sweet alternative transport, but we all just use the Horse News sex van.

Equestria Girls: The Abridged Script

No villain can stand against the power of pointing!

We here at Horse News are often sent...All kinds of strange things. Pictures of Aoshi shaving his legs. Suggestions that we should kill ourselves. Meatloaf recipes. Fundraisers for sick horses. Previews of award-winning novels. It's really very amusing. Well today, we have another kind of interesting thing to share with you all; an original screenplay script sent to us by a guy named Alex Inman. Titled "Equestria Girls: The Abridged Script", the screenplay is roughly 17 pages long, so if you've got some time to kill, this could be worth a look. We've posted the entire document below, along with an introduction from Alex. If you want an actual page-oriented view click here.