Misunderstood School Just Trying to Stop Dashfags

Last week, a school in North Carolina barred 9-year-old student Grayson Bruce from entering the school.
National Guard enforcing the ban on Rainbow Dash backpacks
 ...While wearing a Rainbow Dash backpack.


The school's outward reasoning for this fact is related to the amount of bullying that Bruce has received for his enjoyment of the show.  Bruce claims that he has been punched, pushed, and, worst of all, called names!

Being the natural paranoid basement dwellers skeptical investigative journalists that we are, we at Horse News knew there were some things going on here that were being left unsaid.  Why is there a week delay from when the incident actually happened and when they reported it?  Why haven't parents figured out by now that middle-schoolers will find literally any reason they can to insult someone and make claims about having sex with said victim's mother?  And why the fuck does this kid have a Fluttershit plush toy?

His mother looks so proud...
While these are certainly important questions, we here at Horse News like to think outside the box and ask the questions that really matter, such as "Why does the school care so much?" Bullying is a terrible thing, but something is off about this.

We all know from experience or otherwise that schools tend to not really care when it comes to bullying, because public schools are cold cruel places where we supposedly spend "the best years of our lives", where emotional growth is stunted almost as much as real educational growth. So why would this school in North Carolina take such a personal interest in this student's well-being?

As we're sure many of you are, we were very worried that the school was just going soft.  Using our "investigative reporting" techniques, we were able to obtain an interview with the school's principal (who clearly has a Rarity waifu).

"People are really just misunderstanding the whole issue," he claims.  "We're not asking him to stop wearing it because of what is happening to him; we're asking him to stop because we believe he is on a dangerous path that we do not wish to see him continue down."

One of Bruce's teachers seemed to echo this statement.  "It would be one thing if he was wearing, say, a Rarity backpack," she says, "but our school cannot simply stand by and allow this innocent young boy to turn into a Dashfag!"
Artist's representation of Bruce five years from now
Indeed, friends and family (many of whom are PinkieFags) have been worried that Bruce is on a slippery slope for some time now.  His mother reported catching her son on Ponychan one day, and friends at school worry that Bruce may be looking to purchase a fedora.

"It's a really scary thing," said one of his friends.  "I mean, I've heard of people turning Dashfag on the internet, but I never really thought it could happen so close to home until now."

Inspection of the backpack in question seemed to demonstrate the slow transformation that has consumed Bruce.  Among various school supplies, Bruce's mother was dismayed to find evidence that her son had indeed came inside Rainbow Dash.
"Please kill me"
At press time we are informed that the community's Dashfags and Dash sympathizers are rallying to support the boy in his hour of need, as the school has a clear absence of any sort of effective anti-bullying strategy. Other fans are simply upset that Hasbro doesn't produce seem to backpacks with any other characters. Below are the results of an ongoing poll hosted by the station that broke the bullying story. As expected, approximately 3% of the population are worse than Hitler ardent Rarifags and pro-bullying supporters.


Comments (10)

  1. >MDE sold him the backpack
    >told him it was a Fluttershy bag

    He deserves it.

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  2. Replies
    1. http://www.horse-news.net/2014/03/misunderstood-school-just-trying-to.html#more

      Delete
    2. Your mom.

      Delete
  3. Oh God, I feel terrible for laughing at this.

    ReplyDelete
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  7. As public schools are cold, cruel places where we purportedly spend "the best years of our lives," where emotional growth is just as much stunted as actual educational growth, we all know that school help me with exams tend to not really care when it comes to bullying. But why would this North Carolina school care so much about this student's wellbeing?

    ReplyDelete