A Christmas Card from Horse News

Twas the night before Christmas

And all cross Horse News

Our writers were clopping

and Guzzling booze

The hatemail was deleted

from the box without care

In the hopes that more fan-nudes

soon would be there

The writers were snuggled, with their plushies in bed

As visions of Braeburned pics, danced in their heads

And Critic and Chelis, and yours-truly "The Cap"
Had just logged back on, for a last minute fap

When out on the board there arose such a laughter

We clicked to our blue tabs to see what was the matter

In my Google Chrome window, I clicked with a flash

closed my tabs of Flutters humping Rainbow Dash

And moonbutt's breasts, and caps from the show

And our story of a man and the horses he'd blow

When what to our wandering eyes should appear?

A shitstorm in-progress, the time was finally here

With a butthurt anon who was posting so quick

We knew in an instant he must be a prick

More rapid than whiteknights the posters they came

And they badgered and shouted, and called them all names

"Hey asshole, hey dipshit, hey dumbass and newfag

Hey tumblr, hey mootles, hey Hasdrone and Oldfag

To the top of the page, to the top of the board,

now onto raid, onto raid, onward my hoards!"

With a pastebin of dox, and with Twitter's help too,

And there, even Tinker was lending "a hoof",

We set out on our mission to expose some douche

As we gathered our screencaps and were looking around

Out crawled our subject from his hole in the ground

He was Anti-S-Fur, and bronies and smut,

And there was a large stick that was lodged in his butt

And a pile of insults he had on reserve

like "bronies are retards and misogynist pervs"

His eyes, oh how sunken

His fedora, how merry

You know he had never punctured anyone's cherry

From his SJW mouth the diarrhea did flow

And the anons began laughing "lolfagetplsgo"

The shell of a thought, he held tight in his brain

He came here to conquer but was leaving in pain

He had an unshaven face, and dorito-filled belly

That sweats when he talks, oh jesus how smelly

He was indignant and pissed, the tired old troll

Defending the waifu he had deep in his soul

With the shitfit he threw, and the shit that he's done

Let the HN crew know "this is gonna be fun"

He wrote many words, so we got right to work

Let the whole world know that this guy is a jerk

And laying a cursor to publish the post
Out to the world to witness our roast

Quick to the comments he flew like a flash

Damage control, but it was too late for that

A toast from the crew before we vanished from sight

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Horse News is going on holiday for the next 48 hours unless something SUPER important comes up.

Cheers