Tidbits: This Will Only End in Tears Edition

Ever wondered what it would be like to put your foot inside Rainbow Dash? Come on, I know you weird fucks are out there. Just picture it, your toes slowly sliding in, the hole expanding as your foot pushes deeper and deeper, your foot becoming moist...

...From sweat because you're trying to shove it into a child-sized shoe.

Yeah, sorry, looks like you'll have to put off your sick fantasies until virtual reality technology hits the markets. But hey, if your shoe size is smaller than a 1, these shoes might just fit you after all (and if so, let me be the first to congratulate you on being a manlet). And, of course, if you have a pre-school-aged child, shame on you for being on Horse News. There are children present!

But if you thought My Little Pony-themed shoes not coming in your size was the worst news you could hear today, boy would you be wrong:

Yep, that's exactly who you think it is.

For our fans who have been living under a rock, Ted Anderson is a writer for the MLP comics as well as a raging feminist. These pictures should sum it up pretty well:
We were so close...
After countless hours of thorough analysis, background research, and fact-checking (and if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you), our Horse News Panel of Script-Writing Experts has come up with what we believe is an accurate synopsis of the script Ted is working on.

The story will center around an argument over the fact that Mr. Cake makes more money than Mrs. Cake. Normally this would be a problem: The two run the family business together and therefore (presumably) have equal access to the income (oh, and the wage gap theory has been disproven, but don't tell feminists!). But that's OK, because as we've learned from his comics, Ted is pretty good with leaving gaping plot-holes in his stories. Throw in some dialogue bashing every male character involved in the episode, a musical number about how all men are evil, and a touching letter to Princess Celestia about how it's normal to feel triggered when a man looks at you the wrong way and your subsequent "rape" case totally has standing in a court of law, and there you have it: A Ted Anderson episode.

If they really are that desperate for writers, they should have just called me! I have an A in my Creative Writing class, and that should count for something, right? Anyway, if any show staffers are brave enough to venture to this forsaken place, here's my resume!
I'll also take a job as Storyboard Artist

Comments (14)

  1. Dayum, you HN writers have one hell of a hate boner for Ted, don't you.

    1. Any decent human being would hate him. He's a piece of shit.

    2. you'd have to be one dense motherfucker to not see how "problematic" Ted and the shitfaced little twats he follows on tumblr are

    3. Ted please leave.

    4. >horse news
      >implying it isn't just butthurt grudges by nobody namefags from 4chan
      >who 4chan hates

    5. I don't even actually care about Anderson's deplorable social attitudes, to be honest. After the screw-ups he's already made, I think he knows better than to try to insert any more SJW shit into his works, whether that be the comics or any hypothetical season 6 episodes. The worst he ever did in the comics was put in the cameo, and he hasn't done anything similar since.

      Really, if being a horrible person was all that he was guilty of, I would have no problem with him continuing to work on MLP-related products. Whitley turned out to be a cunt as well, but I actually liked many of his stories that didn't turn into soapbox rants, so I'd be willing to forgive and forget about FF#14 if he never did it again.

      No, the reason why Ted Anderson potentially being on staff for season 6 fills me with dread, and why I'm sickened that he still has a job at IDW, is simply that he's a fucking shit writer. He has consistently proven that he is a talentless hack and that he doesn't understand what he's doing. And it fucking galls me that he's not only still around, but is still trusted with high-level projects. At their most dizzying heights, his stories were merely mediocre as opposed to awful. Katie Cook has also turned out some real stinkers lately, but I can at least why IDW keeps her around, because before the aliens from Space Jam came along and sucked out all her talent, she actually did produce a few quality stories. But what has Anderson ever done? Nothing! Nothing of value whatsoever!

      Like I said, I could understand retaining a writer as toxic as Anderson if he could still actually do his fucking job, but he can't. He cannot write. So if he's this much of an asshole, and he doesn't even make up for it by being skilled, then what is the fucking point of him? I can only conclude that Bobby Curnow is fucking him. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

    6. For me, Ted's early stuff actually was somewhat acceptable. Stuff like the Pinkie Micro was alright, and even his first EqG Annual wasn't THAT BAD... But serendipitously, he seemed to just fucking lose it all RIGHT around the time he was exposed as a SJW on the Power Ponies Annual fiasco. Everything he's done since has been worse and worse. It really came to a head with the EqG Holiday Special, which I can't believe was actually approved even BEFORE Ted's gaffs online happened. And even though the Sirens oneshot was probably his best work in a LLLLOOOOONNNNNGGG while, it was still pretty freaking bad, and (unless it was requested by Hasbro) that damn ending when they went into the mirror fucking broke ANY suspension of disbelief as the Sirens somehow fucking TIME TRAVELLED into the future a few years before Sunset arrived or when she fucking did. No thought, no effort, just a load of lazy garbage. And I freaking don't mind EqG at all, but that ending was just so fucking asinine. Don't even get me started on stupid shit like "Cheerilee's masked wrestler twin sister" that I've seen fucking people defend as being same continuity as the show.

      Katie Cook's problem is that she had one, maybe two ideas for an action/adventure plot and she blew through those a long time ago. She's probably better off doing Slice of Life; hell, one of her best stories was probably the Big Mac and Art of the Gazebo story. Even the FF Applejack/Rarity roadtrip story was alright. But back to back bullshit from Reflections to the Bandit Bulls to fucking deer elves is proof that she needs to stop trying to recapture what she had with Return of Chrysalis. It's hard to tell if SHE'S the one wanting to do AA stories, or if IDW tells her she has to; with Curnow around it could go either way.

      Forgive this Anon for bringing up SANIC, but with the fuckups of Anderson and Whitley, and the lack of quality assurance with Katie and others; it might be for the best for Hasbro to put a shorter leash on IDW for their comics like SEGA does for Archie and their Sonic books. That's right; fucking SONIC is looked after better by their parent company in his comic than the MLP books.

    7. I think Anderson had a few okay stories as well. The Pinkie micro, like you said, was alright. I kind of liked the Celestia/Spike issue of Friends Forever. And I didn't even mind the Power Ponies annual, except for the infamous cameo. But this is the thing - they were just okay. Acceptable. Mediocre.

      Anderson and Cook may be going down the same road right now, but the path behind Anderson is different, because unlike Cook, he has no Return of Chrysalis in his portfolio to compensate for the mountain of shit that he's producing right now. Speaking for me personally (but I think this applies to the fandom at large as well), Cook earned a lot of goodwill for her early stories, especially those slice of life tales. I'm not angry that Cook still has a job despite all the terrible stories, because unlike Anderson, I still have hope for her that she can turn it around and make decent stories again, if only she can get her shit together. Anderson I have no hope for, because I have no reason to believe that his best work wasn't just mostly luck.

      Also, the Sirens oneshot was Anderson's best? Really? I know you're speaking comparatively, and only about his recent works, but really? To be honest, between Star Swirl inventing rap music and the way it all ended with the mirror, I found the comic's sins unforgivable. I actually debated in my head for a long time whether or not it was actually Anderson's worst story ever. To be honest, I'm still on the fence, but I think that the Holiday Special beats it by a hair.

  2. >best friends come in pairs


  3. It would be pretty damn ironic if Ted, an SJW, joined the writing staff after "The Cutie Map" premiered, an episode that pretty much mocks a social justice state of mind (maybe unintentionally, but still mocks it).

  4. This is the worst kind of bait and switch possible. I was expecting a joke, but got a nightmare.

  5. Guys, April Fool's Day was 19 days ago.

  6. SJW drama aside, I have to agree that he isn't a very good writer for pony. The problems the characters tend to face are relatively serious and "gritty" for FiM without the appropriate build up for serious issues. I mean, Arson?! FiM is the kind of show that, if they address a problem to any serious/real world degree, they address the consequences of it. Its not one of those cop shows that skips the drama and goes for the action crime solving stuff.

    If it were good-episode quality stuff, that FF issue would have focused more on looking at the consequences of arson so as to give Spike motivation to investigate the fires. Having him learn about nice dragons and proving the value of his race would be a by-product of him doing the right thing.
    All the key episodes were about illustrating the lessons they learned through doing the right thing. Fir all the talk in the S5 premiere of how differences are good, the village ponybros learn it for themselves in the climax. Why did Spike have to be told all this stuff about dragons when being who he is would have demonstrated the same lesson better?

    I mean, half the comics seem sub-par in terms of writing to me, but this guy seems to have a consistently off tone. Even if he were a saint, I'd rather him move on to other projects.

    1. FF#14 was Whitley, not Anderson.