M.A. Larson defects from United States

"We should have seen it coming" US Bureau Chief of  Brony Affairs Shawn Scrotease said in a press conference this afternoon. "All the signs were there and we missed them." The chief was referring to criminal mastermind Mitch "Coronate a Bitch" Larson's recent defection from the United States to Germany. "His love of beer, his body hair, his sausage... how were we so blind?"

Since arriving in Deutschland, Larson has been quoted as saying "Suck it Bronycon!"  while waving a pair of middle fingers at his telephone, and remarking how much cooler Galacon is. Upon investigation, Horse News reporters uncovered the truth; that Larson had no intentions of returning to America, his mission was complete.

Yes, MA Larson (real name "Manfred Albert Larsonhauser") was in fact a German spy, with a mission to corrupt an entire generation of American men, gather intelligence on their habits, and then strip them of all their shekels.

More photos of Larson have begun to surface giving credence to his life as a German operative, including his career as the head of the German dodgeball team (seen here, posing with a photo of his idol David Hasselhoff). The US authorities have demanded that Larson be extradited for "crimes against television" and "corruption of waifus" but the German government refuse to release him, having just rescued him from an extended stay at an airport.

Larson has vowed to spoil one episode plot a week online on his website "MitchyLeaks".
Meghan McCarthy has not been reached for comment.


Comments (10)

  1. Oh hey, My twitter pic is on there.

  2. I noticed that too. This is an intervention, taze you have a twitter addiction.

  3. >Larson defects from the US
    I smell a fanfiction coming on.

  4. If Larson is German spy what is then Faust? Is she also part of this germanic conspiracy? Readers demand more investigation!

    1. She's from nearby Faustria.

      Sorry not sorry.

      ~Super Trampoline

    2. Just further proof that Hitler truly did nothing wrong


  6. I had no idea Larson was such a strapping young Deustch lad. Must be wearing a blubber suit to ingratiate himself with the American land whales.