Ukrainians join Russia to get new Pony Merch

Детская обувь Crossway. Коллекция My Little Pony from Denis Levakov on Vimeo.

The situation in Ukraine, which was touched off by Russia's occupation of Crimea became more complicated this week as some Ukranians voiced their support of joining Russia, leading many to worry about the possibility of a pending civil war. The message that has been lost in translation for most media associations, but not for our crack team of International Horse-News reporters, is the reason for this turmoil. It's simple; some Ukrainians want some new Russian Pony Shoes.

The video which surfaced recently is entirely in Russian, and we don't have the right keys to type out the transcript, but what is clear from our drunken russian-speaking friends is that the video is a propaganda piece telling the Pinkie fans, Twilight fans, and Dashfags to rise up and join the Russians, and in doing so they will be rewarded with new pony boots featuring the best ponies.

File Photo of Putin
The Ukrainians who are resisting the Russian incursion are Applefags, Flutterfags, and Rarifags, which makes it clear how helpless the situation is for the former Soviet-Block country.

The European Union's sanctions on the Dashfags has been thusfar unsuccessful as they continue to push their love on their background-pony-loving neighbors in Crimea.

The Ukranians continue to hold out hope, but the latest episode of MLP has yet to be redubbed in their language. Global political experts believe their spirits will be crushed when they witness their hard-working determined champion Applejack relegated to being an uneducated applechucker once and for all.

The United States has not committed to any action on the situation, as major party leaders cannot come to an aggreement on who best pony actually is.
More on the Story as it develops.

Comments (2)

  1. Delving into my savings for a shotgun. Commies won't get my dakimakura!

  2. REMOVE DASHFAG remove dashfag