After all those bitches be done mirin' your outfit, they'll inevitably want to 'mire a little bit more. And since they'll all be jumping in line to take off your stellar outfit, you want to make sure they are not disappointed by your body.
This is why we here at Horse News have devised a foolproof workout guide for all you
1. Curls get girls
Curls are by and large the best, and often only, exercise you ever need. The first thing any female is going to notice about you are how large your biceps are. And, as we all know, curls are the best way to make 'em big! If you do enough variations of curls, they are more than comprehensive enough to work your whole body and give you a complete workout routine.
See? You noticed the large biceps first, not the tiny calves! |
2. Take care of your legs
As you start working out more, you'll inevitably hear all kinds of things like "Don't skip leg day" or "Gloots for sloots."
All that pain, and they don't even have hooves... |
Seated leg curls. Like we said before, curls are comprehensive and all you really need for a solid workout.
3. Eat big to get big
This should be easily for you
To maximize your eating technique, we recommend moving your fork to your mouth in the motion of a bicep curl. It's a great way to get in a few extra reps while you're not at the gym!
Fork Curls: Probably approved by 2 Chainz |
4. Abs and cardio
Let's be honest, we all dream of having that perfect six-pack of abs that makes the girls' panties drop harder than the bass on a Skrillex song. Most people say that doing ab work or cardio will help you get those carved ab muscles, but what is really the best ab workout?
...Do we really even need to fucking tell you at this point?
Well, readers, there you have it. If you follow these great workout tips when you go to the gym once per week or so, you'll have that ripped look with plenty of time to spare before summer!
But how do I become an Aryan like in pic 2?
ReplyDeleteI don't want to be an Untermensch.
Sorry, pic 4. You guys put too many pictures in these articles, man. Back in my time, we'd only get 1 picture per article in our news at most!
Delete"This should be easily for you fat fucks fellas with above-average body sizes. Basically, just keep eating like you are now, but maybe add in a couple cheeseburgers on days you lift. Gotta get that extra protein in!"
ReplyDeleteThis is complete bullshit, you cant just eat like that, you need a calories count diet if you dont want to lose everything on cutting.
Many women and men think taking up a lower body workout means heading off to the gym and chewing up hours each day. This doesn’t have to be the case. You can train effectively using the hints below at home, while travelling or even at work.best cheap inversion table
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ReplyDeleteBest diet for abs: For breakfast eat two yogurts and mix in fruit. like strawberries, raspberries, grapes, anything. eat that with green tea.
ReplyDeletefor lunch you could eat a salad with light dressing, an apple, and green tea.
and for supper you could have a chicken breast, a salad, any type of vegetable, and green tea.
make sure you're drinking enough water throughout the day because that helps get you healthy and also helps you lose weight.