Horse News Insider Fashion Pro Tips

Spring is just around the corner, here and with it inevitably comes all new fashion lines as well as the re-emergence of warm weather clothing.  But with all the wonderful options available out there for your attire, making a decision on what to wear this upcoming season can be a difficult one.
This is why we here at Horse News have put together this comprehensive fashion guide so your mom you will know what outfits to put on when you wake up for work hanging out with friends interacting with people in social settings physical activity of any kind sitting in front of your computers and occasionally attending conventions.


1. The Shirt

This is arguably the most important piece of your outfit, as it is most likely the first thing people will notice.  Your best bet this spring is going with a retro, colorful look.  Spring is the season of color, so leave those black death-metal tees in the closet where they belong.  The only thing that should be crawling on your skin this season should be bright and contain an array of different colors.
Shown with accurate representation of how tan you'll be getting this spring!
That is why we here at Horse News are recommending the classic yet bold "20% Cooler" Rainbow Dash t-shirt.

2. The Pants

As the weather starts warming up, you may find yourself feeling really hot and uncomfortable in those black jeans you like to wear with the chains on them.  As cool and edgy as those make you look, the time for them is now over.  You need something classy and fashionable, yet versatile enough to go with just about any Rainbow Dash shirt you happen to come across.
Sick cargos, bruh!
We here at Horse News recommend you invest in a snazzy pair of cargo shorts.  Not only does their tan coloration make them look good with just about any shirt you happen to throw on, but these babies'll never go out of style!  And, as an added bonus, cargo shorts have a number of extra pockets on them that are incredibly convenient in the rare case that you ever find yourself in social situations and are great for storing your excess spaghetti pony merch!
Frat bros will even give you free stuff!

3. The Shoes

Footwear is an important piece of your outfit.  Not only does it protect your feet if you accidentally happen to walk outside, but it can also really accentuate an already great outfit!
BALLA AS FUCK!
We at Horse News recommend the latest in footwear from New Balance.  New Balance is a longstanding and trusted brand and is always on top of the latest fashion trends.  Bitches will be so busy 'mirin your sweet kicks they may not even notice all your excess leg fat!

4. The Headwear

Speaking of things that can accentuate your outfit, what could be better than the proper headpiece?  And anyone who has even remotely followed fashion trends over the past couple of years should already know which garment we are going to recommend:
Ladies, form a line!
 That's right, the fedora.  Stylish, classy, and sure to add an element of charm to your lackluster looks and likely god-awful personality.  Fedoras will make women flock to you as they beg you to hear about your dark and mysterious side.  You'll be sporting the suave look of the gangsters of old and will always be ready to impress your new harem with your display of advanced knowledge and enlightenment.
M'lady
By following these great fashion tips, you're sure to turn heads this spring!  Women will be so enticed by your superior sense of fashion that they'll just be begging you to leave your clothes on, meaning you won't even have to worry about that beach bod you definitely don't have!  Now get out there and hit the beach nearest World of Warcraft server!

Comments (24)

  1. That's not a fucking fedora goddamnit. That hat is a trilby. You can tell by the short brim, upturned back, and the shorter crown. Bronies and generally fashion-ignorant men wear trilby's. There is a clear differentiation.

    Fedoras have a wider brim. Look at Indiana Jones. Compare his hat to your "fedora" they look nothing alike.

    Fedoras should only worn with an Oxford button down shirt and slacks (not "khakis"). At the bare minimum. Better if you are wearing a full suit or a sport coat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doesn't matter what you wear. If you put a suit on a neckbeard, he's still a neckbeard. Let's not pretend that a "proper" fashion sense will make us attractive in any way.

      Delete
    2. You could just trim the neckbeard and avoid the stereotype entirely.

      Delete
  2. Why are you giving me all these tips? I already wear all of this on a regular basis.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Neckbeard faggot detected.

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  5. This spring i want to wear my birthday suit in the great outdoors.
    Row-Row Fight tha' Alien Clothing Conspiracy!

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