Flashlight Confirmed, Seaponies Confirmed, Endtimes Pending

As our deathmarch towards Season 5 and Rainbow Rocks continues, the show staff and Hasbro have seen fit to double-team us with a pair of posts to ruffle our jammies. The least of which is this tweet by Daniel Ingram, a crude illustration of what he refers to as a "Mercorn", or what those who have braved the previous generations would recognize as a Seapony (Cue CANS.WAV from PonyToast).

The worst of which came earlier.

Rainbow Rocks Sneak Peek #3 is here. And the thumbnail foretells of the darkness that the video contains,

Even skeptics and those willfully in denial were forced to accept the truth today, as Flash Sentry has positioned himself to steal your waifus for good. He enters the video after a full-length song from the movie ends, to ask if Twilight Sparkle will be returning, before blushing, stumbling awkwardly, and making it painfully obvious that he wants a piece of horse pussy. Rarity also brings up the phrase "item" with Sunset Satan, re-confirming that adult relationships are a thing in this storyline.

Also addressed in the video is the fact that the girls have no damn clue why they become anthro ponies when they play their instruments. 

Also in the video is Rainbow Dash acting like a cuntbiscuit.

The speculation is unavoidable.

As-is the fear

And the hatred

And then, to top it all off, the gets of doom.

So we're calling it here. Hope and Optimism for Equestria Girls 2: Rainbow Rocks
Time of Death: 7:00 PM August 29, 2014
1 month before release.


Comments (27)

  1. Rainbow Rocks will be a good movie.

  2. Boy this is going to be a great movie!

  3. My will is strong enough to not watch the excrement that is EQG.

    1. And yet you're too weak to stay away from the beatings that a certain furry board bestows you on a daily basis.

  4. I'm not even kidding, this should be good.

  5. I still suspect we'll get an actual pony movie as a sort of series grand finale.

    1. Same here. Like what "The Last Crusade" was for "Temple of Doom", the grand finale movie will be an apology for all the Equestria Girls movies.

  6. Did anybody actually believe that Flash somehow doesn't want to bone Twilight anymore?

  7. Well, I for one enjoy it when I'm reminded why I hate Dash.

  8. And this is exactly why Ishi Rudell was desperately dodging all questions regarding Rainbow Rocks and did his best to avoid talking about Flash's status.

    Nobody believes this movie will be good, nobody believes this movie should have existed to begin.
    They still will make a third equestria Girls movie though.
    And a TV series.

    But not a real pony movie.

    Never a real pony movie.

    And this is how they will be reminded, each and every person responsible for Equestria Girls.

    Like a group of retarded fags who got one of the most popular franchises ever and turned it into concentrated ass for some crappy Monster High ripoff's sake.

    I hope the money had been worth it.

    1. There is a simple way to show your support, or rather, lack of support for Equestria Girls:
      Don't buy the toys.
      Hasbro makes most of their money off of toy sales so if you don't buy Equestria Girls toys, Hasbro will see they can no longer make a good enough profit off toys based on it, and Equestria Girls will get canned.
      The problem is there are people who are blindly buying anything with the word "pony" on it because it's the popular thing right now and they need to have as much of the popular thing as they can get. That's not being a smart consumer. That's being a lemming.

    2. Then your proposed financial boycott will finally kill ALL things pony. Because bronescum will find anything to complain about and tip their fedoras about 'never being as good as season 1'.


    3. No, it should just kill Equestria Girls if people don't buy Equestria Girls toys.
      In fact, people should buy more non Equestria Girls pony toys to show their support for the show.

    4. >2014
      >supporting pedohorse turbo-autism

  9. So does this mean that Brad being a zoophile is canon?

    Thank you, Hasbro. Finally, a company that understands us.


  10. Flash Sentry had two problems:

    1. He's boring.
    2.>muh waifu

    I'm not a waifufag, so I don't care about the second one. IMO, more Flash can only be a good thing, because then they have more opportunity to actually do something interesting with him. And even if they don't, I can't see how they'd make him MORE boring than last time.

    1. They can give him more boring screentime and more awkward blushing scenes.

      In the first movie, he had about as much screentime as some of the mane6 in the pilot. And considering how little they did with him then, I have no hope that this movie will do better. Meghan doesn't seem to give a damn about him if she thinks all he has to do is be embarassed and he'll be "cute enough" for the target audience.

    2. And what if it's not all awkward blushing scenes? What if they make him a comic relief character? What if him being a musician leads to him becoming a rival for Twilight and friends in the contest? What if he discovers the secret of the sirens, and his screentime in the movie is mostly spent trying to warn Twilight while evading them? What if both Flash Sentries discover one another's existence and are jealous of themselves, pony Flash for his human self having Twilight's attention, and human Flash for his pony self actually making something of his life?

      Seriously, making Flash Sentry interesting isn't that hard. Writefags have made interesting characters with complex backstories out of background ponies with zero speaking lines. Yes, you're right. Flash was boring last time because nobody tried to do anything with him. But that's why it's such an easy fix, and that's why thinking that this movie won't be ANY better doesn't make sense to me. There's no way Meghan hasn't learned since last time, and the only way for the second movie to not make ANY improvement whatsoever would be intentional trolling, which she wouldn't dare do when she tries so hard to earn our goodwill.

    3. >intentional trolling
      Or corporate meddling.

      The object of interest must be as bland as possible so every girl will want to make him her husbando. We have twenty marketing and PR chimps pointing angrily at charts and we haven't gone bankrupt yet, so they must be right!
      [shit flinging intensifies]

  11. I hope Flash Sentry steals all the waifus.

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