Announcing Horse Records: One Stop Shop For All Your Top Tier Musiks

Horse News is proud to present to you our new official record company. Horse Records is a proud and hungry new service that will present you top quality recordings for your auditory enjoyment. Never before has the Fandom seen an organized group of musicians of this magnitude ready to release their works to the public. Our staff will release music from a multitude of producers; from in house engineers, DJs and musicians, too outside exclusive releases, we have it all!

Our studios feature the most up to date and top of the line music equipment that Craigslist has to offer. Our modernized studio is only matched by the likes of that guy next door who sometimes makes some music or beats his wife in drunken stupors. We not only have one whole single mac book, a virtual DJ, Massive Patches, idiots guide to club music and a soundgooderizer VST like Alex S and the sorts, but we also have actual musicians who play actual music and have a vast array of talents and musical knowledge. Some can even play more than 4 chords!

Need to know how to resolve a phrase? 4 Part Harmony? What a plagal cadence is? Invert your 7th chords without looking like a fool? Of course you don't, and neither do the rest of this fandom's musicians, but we at Horse News DO KNOW for your convenience!

With our quality expertise and vast assortment of sweatshop ghost producers pumping out content like a Chinese laborer, you will never ever go hungry of #professional content. We will use our in house musicians to create music, but thats not all. We will also start to feature new acts of musicians that we enjoy, or sometimes we will feature music so horrendous and vomit inducing it can only be laughed at. But overall you can expect a bunch of new music on our front pages in the coming months!

Our current lineup consists of:

>Some dude with a guitar
>Another dude with a guitar
>Yelling At Cats
>Another dude with a guitar
>Fuck another one
>Seriously, more dudes with gutiars

You can expect more songs in the future and even more third party releases and reviews! If you or anyone you know would like to help out or even be featured on HorseNews, drop us a line, and if we don't go deaf and shoot ourselves in the head, you too might be #HorseFamous.

fuck yo shit critic, heh. (jim I will fuk u m8 I sware)

Comments (10)

  1. Need someone who makes music without a guitar? I can maybe possible not fuck up music too badly.

    1. Please click the "contact us" button to get signed right away.

      Unless you're shit.

  2. I can drum on the table pretty good.

  3. Okay Horse News, what's a plagal cadence? Hmmm.

    ~Super Trampoline

    1. >not majoring in music
      >not dropping out of music school

  4. >No Aoshi
    >No Mando


  5. They already killed their own, shall we say, career. No need to shoot them in the foot even further

  6. The article is very good, it is very detailed and easy to understand, thank you for sharing.