Scientists Urge Bronies To Destroy Any Trace of Fandom’s Existence.

Dr. Isaac Von Trapp Delivers His Signature 'Think of the Future' Lecture
WASHINGTON D.C. - Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are urging Bronies to destroy any trace of their beloved fandom’s existence. Dr. Isaac Von Trapp of MIT, the nations leading university of science, says that history would not look highly upon “a generation which allowed men to run around in pony costumes and become overweight neckbeards.”

Dr. Von Trapp spoke to the newly commissioned senate ‘future image’ committee Friday, where he outlined the dangers of allowing grown men become more effeminate. Von Trapp went on to say that “we look to the brave men who fought in World War II as models for ourselves in an age of global civil unrest, and need to focus on our own image for future generations to admire.” The senate committee is still exploring their options for funding Dr. Von Trapp’s research, and will convene again on Monday. 

The Senate 'Future Image' Committee Deliberates
Now, Bronies are getting involved, petitioning the senators to “put an end to this nonsensical debate” and to “let us do what we want.” Thousands of Bronies are expected to take on Washington D.C. Monday to protest what they believe to be a “violation of rights,” according to a Tumblr page.

Now, with the possibility of rowdy neckbeards clogging the streets of Washington, D.C., Metropolitan Police Chief Cathy Lanier tells FOX News that her department will be on high alert, with increased patrols all around the metropolitan area. Chief Lanier also told WUSA-TV that the last time Bronies took to Washington, they vandalized the mall with spaghetti by the truck load, and that if anyone is caught with Spaghetti this time, they will be detained.

Bronies Protest Outside The White House

Comments (6)

  1. Spaghetti? Hahaha

  2. Please tell me this is a joke, and washington isn't really spending money on this, and MiT isn't really wasting resources on this. Please.

    1. Sadly, it could very well be real.

  3. Not a conspiracy theory.

    Eh, Hasbro is already murdering off bronies with an elite squad of trolls, so... oh wait, that's us. SHEEEIIIT!

  4. It will happen... We will win.


  5. ABB will never win.