Graduate Students Document the [Oppressively Hegemonic] Brony Experience

"Yup, its science alright." (Photo by EQD)

Groundbreaking research has taken place on the campuses of Rutgers University in New Jersey and the University of Connecticut.

Researchers have spent countless hours browsing through My Little Pony fandom websites in an attempt to find how being a "total nerd" and a brony relates to masculinity and oppressive patriarchal social paradigms, a new study documented by Adam Gabbatt (The Guardian) shows.

The study was presented to a group of grad students and at least one underwhelming journalism intern at the International Conference of Masculinity held in Manhattan this week.

Other than the fact that such a conference even needs to exist, what is even more amazing were the events described. Professors talked about how nerds ignoring bullies is contributing to the patriarchy, colleagues shared techniques for male bonding such as 'friendship labs' designed to make assholes less ass-holey, and researchers presented data on brony internet forums and their effect on equality. 

All of these panels were curated by professionals. Graduates and doctors -people with almost as many years in academia as some of us have been alive- spoke to crowds of similar people about why masturbating to cartoon horses is oppressive to women.

The researchers in question have apparently spent time analyzing the inner workings of the brony fandom and their intracultural behaviors and mannerisms (memes) in the name of science.

"Bailey and Harvey had found that there was a community on the image-based bulletin board 4chan of men who like My Little Pony. Within this community, having sex with a real person, in real life, is seen as a negative – and not “clopping” is a form of heresy. What was happening here was an example of “normal” hegemonic masculinity in action, Bailey and Harvey said."

Years of hard work studying gender and social issues and hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt has led up to the graduate students penultimate dissertation - a study on why teenagers masturbating to horse porn is oppressing women everywhere. Prime examples of their hard work are seen in"screen grabs" of posts on boards only presumed to be ponychan and /mlp/, quotes such as "Go be a faggot somewhere else," and the theory of hegemonic masculinity.”  

It is not entirely certain whether or not the researchers simply forgot to finish their homework and drafted up a paper last minute while browsing /mlp/. By looks of the researcher, its entirely possible.
John Bailey
Researcher John Bailey, hater of all things finely equine
In response to the research claiming a false sense of masculine domination within the brony fandom, one /mlp/ user posted:
"Dumb fucking feminist kikes..." 
Certainly the researchers are misguided in their presumption that the fandom is composed of sexually perverse womyn haters.

According to the write up by, the term hegemonic masculinity pertains to how "men manage to assume and retain dominant positions in society, at the expense of women." The author states that being a hegemonic male means you are "powerful,' 'dominant,' stoic,' 'successful'... not being weird or different," basically anything other than being a loser. And by vying for these traits, men somehow "hold women back."

Did you catch that last part? Hold women back.... At the expense of women... 

The researchers found that bronies on 4chan calling each other faggots correlated to them identifying with the male power structures. Idolizing pony butts and disregarding human vagina makes bronies women haters and misogynistic assholes.

Apparently it is now scientifically proven that because bronies adhere to the standards of masculinity -while still maintaining to 'redefine gender roles' by obsessing over a child television show- they are oppressing women. If men are being men, then then are bad! But if men are not doing men things, but still think men things, they are still bad! The web of hypocrisy is never ending.

The only apparent role men can play in society is at the foot of the bed attending to a woman's every whim like a fragile lap dog. Any moment a man acts out of line and expresses any emotion other than regret and humility, a woman's feelings are hurt and the entire gender is considered oppressed. 

Notice the Symbol of Male Oppression.
The study of Social Issues has become such quack science that researchers no longer identify oppressive power structures in occupation, institutions, and society as the root cause of inequality. Instead these professionals gravitate towards identifying internet memes and teenagers calling each other names as a matrix of oppression. [Buzzwords Intensify] 

In the words of Adam Gabbatt, "it's quite hard being a man," and truer words were never spoken. Just being a man is a sign that you are evil. Just by existing you are perpetuating the 'invisible privilege' that your gender provides. So fuck the haters and make the best of it. Clop away to whatever your dick desires you massive faggots, because either way, >no hooves or >hooves, men will always be oppressing someone or something.

"It’s quite hard being a man" ~Gabbatt (Photo by The Guardian) 

Comments (34)

  1. "Go be normal somewhere else, faggot."
    >quote documented in academic study on masculinity

    It's impossible to find words to describe how hilarious it is that researchers are sticking it to the patriarchy by observing /mlp/ and taking everything there at face value. Clearly I entered the wrong field of study.

    1. By careful empirical method the researchers were able to extract valuable data, which they then used to further solidify their theory.Hard science at work here.

    2. Stoicism and not feeding the trolls is hegemonic masculinity and upholding patriarchy, my fellow faggots.

  2. International Conference of Masculinity. That's one of the stupidest things I've ever read. Congratulations.

  3. So liking women means you are objectifying them and being oppressive, but if you like pone you are oppressing women by not having sex with women?
    Day of the rope when.

  4. We, as a species, are doomed. Isn't it great?

  5. >the guardian

    Straight into the trash it goes!

  6. Is this Fury Belle's blog? Shit, post is shit.

  7. TheGuardian is just a liberal pandering trash website. Not worthy of being called a news site.

  8. Man i don't care about masculinity. I just like ponies. And food. And sleep. And money.

  9. Wait, is this satire or not, I can't tell.

    1. One of the tags is "too stupid to make up".


    Not everyone on /mlp/ or into pony is a fetishist. This journo... I will check out his credentials and tell you what i find.

    Now, as a faggot, I will go and be normal somewhere esel

  11. Some people say it as a joke, but it's true. Literally ANYTHING can be twisted into an accusation of whatever -ism is popular if you jump through enough hoops. I recall something from an InternetAristocrat video once, where he was reading out a question some guy had for a crazy Tumblr radfem. His question was something like, "So if I don't like sex with black women, I'm discriminating and being racist. But if I DO like sex with black women, I'm exoticising them, and that's also racist. So in what possible context am I even allowed to THINK about black women without it being racist in some way?" I believe the response was something along the lines of "Check your privilege you evil white cis male."

    So, honestly, fuck it. Let the crazies live in their world of paranoid hysteria. Let radfem women go through their lives in perpetual fear of phantom rapists, loathing the whole world until their own petty hatred consumes them, and let these limp-dicked "nice guy" pussies who go along with it continue flogging themselves and pouring salt in their own wounds as recompense for being born male. If that's the world they want to live in, let them. Eventually they'll all either wise up or kill themselves.

    And until that day, I'm going to continue living my life how I want, fapping to what I want to fap to, and not assigning any of these people any degree of credibility. Because honestly, after all the self-castrations, none of them have the balls to actually go out and change or affect anything. I have no fear of a future ruled by feminists and tumblrites, because slacktivism and this namby-pamby intellectual posturing about masculinity and the patriarchy never accomplishes anything, and as long as we keep pointing and laughing at this kind of shit, and make sure the next generation grows up knowing what utter crap it all is, then it never will.

    1. But Namby-Pamby was a great editor! I hope you're not implying Diamond Tiara's reign over the paper was any better.

    2. Shut your fucking face. Diamond Tiara was a fucking fantastic editor. You never heard her whining about oppression and patriarchies. That's because she was born rich, and knows that her purpose in life is to do the oppressing. Mark my words, that girl is going places.

    3. So, making fun of internet idiots is actually benefical to society? 4chan is a blessed place, then. Twofold.

    4. Ours is a most sacred duty, anon 4. We are the guardians of the future.

    5. tl;dr

      fuck, i barely read my own.

  12. Well said.

    But are you sure that's the report's intent? Or the column writer's?

    And claims that 'men can't see the patriarchy' are bullshit. If men can get into powerful positions and keep women down, and got there by subjugating women, that means they were able to keep a lot of men down, and subjugating them, too, as thry were competing with a lot of other guys (duh). And often systematically but the men are different groups is the difference. - it just manifests itself as regular bullying and fucking over to the victims, rather than sexism, which really is just the same, but across sex lines when you think about it. The specific dynamics are a lot different, but it's still bullying and there will be some similarities in the way it works and the attitude behind it.

    Just it's the Republicans (who are mostly men!), not men.

    So how about people work together just to stop the 'hierarchy' and its bullying, not just the 'patriarchy' within that, if it exists?


  13. I saw an article (I didn't save the source, but I think it was on a UK site about a study in Boston) talking about Benevolent Sexism vs. Hostile Sexism.

    The Hostile examples were what you'd expect (cat calling, pinching, etc), but the Benevolent ones seemed like grasping at straws.

    Basically, if I were to open the door for my girlfriend while smiling, call her an affectionate name, picking up the check every other time we go out (when it's my turn to), and give her my jacket if she complained about being cold, I'm not being a loving, considerate partner- no, I'm being an oppressive scum who's pushing my SO in enforced childish roles.

  14. Well this article begs the question, who's more horrible: horsefuckers or ponyfags?

  15. TIL looking at me r34 is oppressing wemyn and not giving a fuck about being insulted is sexist, apparently.

  16. Man, am I ever glad I ditched my Anthropology major!

  17. 部潰是漢揚

  18. >Within this community, having sex with a real person, in real life, is seen as a negative – and not “clopping” is a form of heresy. What was happening here was an example of “normal” hegemonic masculinity in action, Bailey and Harvey said.

    They do realise the anons are joking, right?
    They do realise zoophile acceptance is not the predominant attitude in society?

  19. >"Dumb fucking feminist kikes..."

    I've been quoted! 15 seconds of horse fame, huzzah!

  20. And with every waking moment I spend reading about this lobby (because feminism is a lobby now), the more I am tempted to simply become a MGTOW and forsake all this shit.

    Can't do right by them, can't do right without them... can't fuck em'... can't not fuck em'...

    Generally, if I wanted a relationship with a woman, I'm going to have to learn a new language and go overseas.

  21. The guy actually was one of us. 'pparently, the paper went balls to the wall with the research the guy did up. Wouldn't be surprised if he could be found on /mlp/.

  22. User: technologytones2015
    Pass: MannaF@y8287

  23. Great article and interesting, thank you for sharing.