Kolt Klops Klan begins recruiting new members

"The show will rise again" read a birthday card attached to a gift presented to local girl Tiffany Stone during her 9th birthday celebration. Within the package, Tiffany was delighted to find the latest MLP product to hit the shelves - her very own Pinkie Pie-adorned Klan robe.
"It's like the one sissy wears!" said Tiffany, trying on the hood. "I finally have something to wear to the coloring-book burning!"

Tiffany's family are members of the "Kolt Klops Klan", a self-described "social club"  whose members follow the xenophobic family-centric teachings of Grandwizard Applejack in the show My Little Pony. Much like the A&E program Duck Dynasty, Discovery has decided to cash in on the Republican audience's latent prejudices and has begun specialty marketing products such as these robes. 

Adult-sized Pony Robes
"I love the messages that the Apple family brings to us all," says Tiffany's mother Deborah, washing the black ashes from her hands. "It's important in today's day and age to have strong family values and a general distrust of anyone different from you."

The Apple Family is comprised of dozens of in-bred members, and is led by their matriarch and broodmare Applejack. Her daughter-sister Applebloom was the first character in the show to be seen wearing a hood, which popularized them among fans such as the Stones. 

The Kolt Klops Klan has seen a surge in membership ever since the recent outbreak of Ebola Cutiepox, which was traced back to a Zebra immigrant who had been released from a Ponyville hospital for not having healthcare. The Kolt Klops Klan asserts that the Zebras are responsible for this problem and are pushing for them to be "dealt with" out of fear.
At press time, Tiffany was attempting to blow out her birthday candle, which is the shape of  large lower-case T, on the lawn of a local resident.

Pony Hoods are available wherever torches are sold.

Comments (6)

  1. This was one of the best written articles on Horse News in a while, keep up the great work anon. It's this type of hard hitting journalism that the world of horse fuckers craves.

  2. Where can I get that Rainbow Dash robe?

    1. @ur mums place xDDD

    2. http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/My+Little+Pony+Rainbow+Dash+Hooded+Robe-173023.jsp
      I'm wearing this shit to babscon see if i give a fuuc

  3. Well done, H-N, well done.