Rainbow Rocks reviewed by an Asshole


My turn.

I was lucky enough to get to see Equestria Girls 2: Electric Scootaloo this week and I have more than a few things to say about it. Prepare your anuses, I'm going in.

My expression going into the theater.

In a general sense, to be certain, the movie was all-around surprisingly good. It had some really good character development, the great art we're so accustomed to, and some scenes that made your entire body physically curl into itself from cringe.

Specifically, this scene.

I'm not going to waste your time recapping the movie again; the other folks at HN here have done a great job of that so far. I'm going to address some specific issues here.

The Useless Demigod Sisters

This movie saw the return of a lot of the same characters from Equestria Girls 1, including background students, the CMC's, and of course >no hooves Mane 6. In addition, we also saw the return of everyone's favorite fictional school employees.

Besides Feeny, of course.

Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna are the most useless characters of the movie. These folks, who are all-powerful in Equestria, get taken over by not-yet-superpowered sirens who convince them to turn a non-competitive musical soiree into a battle of the bands. Of course, had the sirens had any sense, they'd have realized that everything is a competition to high-schoolers, whether you call it a battle or not.

Flash Sentry disses Twilight: A hundred husbandos rejoice

"I'm leaving you because >no hooves." - Flash Sentry

Halfway through the movie, Brad McCorndog decides he doesn't want to shove his polish sausage into Twilight's toasted buns anymore. In this scene, which brings twilight to tears, made me laugh so hard that I nearly choked on my popcorn. Thanks for almost killing me, Meghan McCarthy!

This scene

Made you look.
 In seriousness. How could you not adore that Sunset Shimmer smile?

Sunset Shimmer as a Character

Throughout the entire movie, Sunset Shimmer is--like Meghan McCarthy--trying to live down the last movie. Everyone hates her for her past, won't give her a second chance, and she is resigned to rolling her eyes every time someone mentions what a terrible villain she was in EqG 1. I mean, seriously. She was just a downright awful badguy.
The old me was really bad at formulating plans, wasn't she?

That said, Sunset really redeemed herself in this one. She took on a support role that actually fit in with the rest of the crew's dynamic and didn't feel forced into the group. There was potential for her to be a shitty add-on, like the 5th Ninja Turtle, or Scrappy-Doo, or the green Power Ranger.

Yeah, I said it. FUCK YOU, TOMMY


I have to say it, and it hurts me, as a die-hard Dashie fan. Dash was a cunt this movie. Of course, I'm hand-waving that by saying that HUMAN Dash is different from PONY Dash. Yeah, that's it. They're just different characters. It frustrates me so much it makes me want to punch a pony right in the face.

Oops, sorry, Dashie.
Seriously, though. Dash was just an absolute terror. She almost caused the badguys to win. I get that Rainbow Dash is competitive, and that she is sometimes callous, but she is also loyal to her friends and I think the "Dash forgets about other people's feelings" button is getting pressed too much these days. Just my 2 bits.


There were a lot of good points to this movie, and I really do recommend that you go see it. A lot of the problems from the first movie were not prevalent here, and even the number of references to pop culture was lower. EqG2 might just help me survive the hiatus.


Comments (11)

  1. Dash being so awful was actually one of my favorite things about the movie. Her song was awesome! She can take a turn being best pony for a while (well, after Sunset Shimmer and Sonata and Adagio...)

    Especially since I think I hate Twilight after seeing this.

  2. Ok, I can't figure this shit out and don't want to waste time watching the movie.

    That selfie pic of rarity in a bra. Is that actually in the film? wtf?

    1. Hi! You asked an idiotic question! So here's your sarcastic response:

      Yes, because they would certainly show a scene of girls in their underwear in a small kids movie! They would also include Scooby Snacks and a FedEx icon! Good eye!

      Thanks for visiting Horse-News, you douche :D

    2. >That selfie pic of rarity in a bra. Is that actually in the film?

      Not exactly. This is just an underwear edit of an actual selfie shot from the movie.

    3. Dat HNATS' response.

  3. Adagio. Worst villainess ever. And those two sidekick bitches of hers? Just a blatant rip off of Monster High characters. Hey, Hasjew. How about instead of ripping off Mattel's playbook, how about you start making your shit good again. Fire Meghan McCarthy, and put Lauren Faust back in creative control.

    Megan McCarthy is a hack. Seth MacFarlane has more talent than that bitch!

    1. >Faust

      Just catching this name at random convinced me that the poster above is a dumbfuck.

  4. Human Dash never had all the adventures that the pony Dash did. It'd only make sense for her to be more of a cunt than the version we're familiar with, because she hasn't gone through the same character development as her counterpart.

  5. >implying Rainbow Dash being a cunt isn't part of what makes her great

    Do you even Dashfag?

  6. Nope. not going to support the TEENAGERS IN HIGH SCHOOL fad that was forced upon FIM.

  7. Informative articles on HN?

    when did this site become such shit?