Draftcon Kicks Off


It's Friday June 6th, which means one thing for the pony community; the most anticipated brony gathering of the Millennium is finally here! Draftcon 2014 in some frigid Scandinavian colony in the Midwest. We've been receiving reports all day of the entertaining activities going down at Egocon.





According to the Official Draftcon® Schedule™ those who shilled out $400 for room and ticket will definitely get their money's worth. "Come meet the guest! Visit the panel!" an EFN shill shouts at passerby. "It's not too late to get tickets at the door, for a low low cost of some unspecified amount over $45".


And don't forget the $5 for the Deluxe Souvenir #BronySwag Lanyard Accessory Penis Extension. We asked some freshly-lubed attendees what they were most excited about at the cash-grab convention. Many were looking forward to the mandatory Con-Chair Spanking and Dick Ride panel.


Others were looking forward to the tumbleweed races, and the prison-style "lights out" bedtime at midnight. Still to come on the schedule is the highly anticipated EFN staff sex-tape premier, after the ceremonial "first awkward microphone snarfle" of the con. Because of the con's location, many were unable to make it to the con of the decade of the century, but have no fear, you can watch all the high-intensity buffering action on the stream.


For those who feel like their anal cavities could use a little more abuse, there is a concert tomorrow night for the low low cost of $60 additional dollars. For those who shilled out even more money, they will get the opportunity to make completely original wings jokes to M.A. Larson's face, making the whole trip worth it.

Despite all the smiles and rainbows the convention is not without its share of controversy. Final Draft's first-year 2014 convention has greatly annoyed and offended this brony who said in 2013 that there were "Too many brony conventions", and has stood by that word ever since. It is uncertain how Final Draft will respond to this move by Final Draft.

Unrelated video stream, recorded on a $9000 potato:


Opening ceremonies have just kicked off so stay tuned for all the HN coverage of Draftcon 2014.

Comments (13)

  1. Hello to all the faggots coming here from Derpibooru!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did any Horse News staff get a chance to harass Final Draft in person?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Implying we're there.

      Delete
    2. Oh get over yourself. You're just as curious to watch it fail as we do.

      Delete
    3. Why would anyone do that? This is Minnesota. The friendliest state in America. Are you fucking stupid or some shit?

      Delete
  3. At the risk of sounding like a retard - what's the actual name of this con?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MLP Minnesota, or MLP-MSP for short.

      Don't feel bad, it took me a while to figure out what con HN was talking about as well.

      Delete
    2. MSP means Minneapolis Saint Paul. MN is the postal abreviation for Minnesota, and MPLS is the shortened name for Minneapolis. Do your fucking homework.

      Delete
  4. Where's our EFN exposé, Horse News?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hear the "tripping over cables" game was fun until they ruined it by gaffer-taping them to thr floor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No no, the game kept going all con. Our final tally was 41.

      http://i.imgur.com/kuL2JdK.jpg

      Delete
  6. Can't we just get rid of that guy already?

    ReplyDelete