Coco Pommel: The Husbando Stealer

Have you ever had the fantasy of being in charge of a big business with tons of dosh in your pocket, and more importantly, a damn cute secretary? For Coco Pommel, perhaps unfortunately, her image appealed a bit too much to those who did.

And their ex-waifus are not impressed.

"I don't understand," muttered Element of Harmony and former model, Fluttershy, through clenched teeth. "I put on the fucking timid-and-helpless attitude, and all I get are, 'Noo, fuck off Fluttershy, your fetish attempts are too rapey.'" As if to make a point, she took a big pull from her cigarette before stabbing down the hot amber onto an image of Coco Pommel.

Former waifus everywhere seem to have gone off the deep end, unable to cope with the fact that everybody is now circlejerking over this new character who, in Fluttershy's words, "had fuck-all air time and no character." Rainbow Dash went nuts and decided to fly east, citing that all of her friends turned into pixie dust, and several of our reporters have yet to return from entering Sugarcube Corner several days ago.

It seems that the introduction of Coco Pommel has thrown all of Equestria into a cesspool of, what Ponyville resident Der[DATA EXPUNGED] describes as, "Fandom Canon".

Yet, despite all of the chaos, plenty seem content with their new waifu. Can you argue with them?

Unfortunately, Coco Pommel could not be reached for comment. The defenses she had set up around her Manehattan home were too dense--not even our masses of D-class personnel could get through, despite our clear instructions of using each other as human shields.

Comments (5)

  1. Wonderful reporting as always you glorious bastards.

  2. Since when has the SCP Foundation taken to reporting horse news

  3. >Rainbow Dash went nuts and decided to fly east
    oh I see what you did there...

  4. This is the best article on this site.