CRUNK Corner: TootsieRoll2 (The Pony OG)

Yo yo an' welcome ta another addition o' CRUNK Corner, urban edition dawg! Yo this day we's'll be taking uh peep at da most bom' ass rapper on all o' Vine, uh brony who goes by da name TootsieRoll2, nah wat I sayin'? It just goes ta show dat if you didn't think whitey crackas could git any mo' bizzare, some other autistic nigga will show up an' prove you wrong, ya dig? Nah sit cho' ass down and git ready fo' somethin` dat'll make klan members roll in they graves.

Yo dawg, check dis shit out! Ya see, dis nigga right here, the one hoo gots dem rhythm skillz mang? Dats the OG mastah TootsieRoll2. While he be havin' a old ass YouTube wid dat dank pony shit, bruh's best work be straight up on Vine. Dis motha fucka got hella skills and balla camera work too. Dem swag moves are chill, aight. Put dat shit on loop for yo next gig and you'll have errybudy swaggin' out. Yo an' guess what? dis here ain't his only Biz bout the hard nock life, either, nah wat I sayin'?And yo, his whole profile iz filled wif insight 'bouthis street life, so don't make me pull mah gat! 

But yo it be mostly filled wif his "roarin" memes and shit. Nigga think he be Kevin Williams or somethin'.

But fo' real do', da place where dis cracka really shines, iz wif dealing wif precious chil'ns. Beotches and thots, take note, dis here be uh nigga who knows how ta werk wif kids, nah wat I sayin'? Ya know ah can feel da beotches getting wet, ah mean peep at how fatherly dis here nigga iz to all da damn hood ratz.

Yo now if you thinkin` 'bout tryin ta jump dis here crazy cracka, you bettah think twice. Dis here nigga gots a GOAT crew dat's ready ta take yo ass down wif strengf an' skill sho 'nuff! We talkin' like Goku on Vegeta's salty ass, bruh. Yo just take uh peep at some o' da bruhs he be rollin' wid. The crew be call "bronies" or some shit.

Da main hood group, bruh

Yo Micahel fo' real look like he be stompin' niggas

Den he got LittleShy, da pussy tamer bruh

Yo but not only do he gots his human bruhs ta back him, but he also gots some angry ass dogs ta bite some niggas if dey piss him off, ya know? Fo' real be straigh Michael Vick'n up in dis bitch, like my bruh Tyron up town wid his nasty ass pitbulls. Damn they scary!

Yo an' if you think dis here be uh nigga wif nahh bitches, think ag'in you lil ass. Dis here nigga has mo' beotches than he knows what ta do wif, nah wat I sayin'? Hell even his crew be tryin' ta git in on da lady box tongue punchin' he gets on uh constant basis!

Yo yo but for real do', this is a seriously crazy ass cracka...

Like, for real dawg...

AnimatedJames be a straight up fan, yo

Yo in da end it don't even madder do', Tootsie here dindu nuffin, cuz he a good boy! All he wuz wanting ta do wuz make some mad stupid videos ta make all his homies up in da crib laugh. Sucks dat uh gangster like him just ends up shocking da world, an' we's end up wif da shit you see here, nah wat I sayin' bruh?

Yo in closin', Tootsie himself summed it up in uh video dat we's couldn't say bettah ourselves, even wif dis here great motha fuckin' urban werds n shit transmalator ya' dig? Peace out, cuh!!! *drops mic*

Thank god I'm done trying to translate actual grammar to the shit I have to hear living near a Spring Break paradise. As I type this I'm preparing to do Jello Shot off titties for Horse News.

Comments (12)

  1. It's funny because it's white people talking like black people about white people talking like black people

    1. I dunno, I consider myself pretty good friends with wootmaster, and he is black. Doesn't that make me at least kind of black?

    2. Term you may use in this case is wigger, I believe. That being said, this was pretty funny to least the video's I could get through.

  2. Awww shit it's thugnificent himself!
    You crack my shit lil balla

  3. >tfw this total autist has more friends than you ever will
    It hurts to live.

  4. some serious St00ff in here

  5. >These niggas using an ebonics translator for their article instead of learning real ghetto-speak
    >Probably don't deal crack in their spare time 'cause they're too busy on the internet
    >Bet they don't even have any illegitimate children or gold teeth

  6. This garbage is so painful I want to cry. If this dude is an Asperger's case, I understand...otherwise, he's worse than the friends I had in the Eighties who'd record random comedy on my old tape recorder. Argh.

  7. All the videos are gone apart from an april fools video.