"No Banishment" decision incites Zebra Riot

Breaking News: A mob of angry zebra protesters have broken into riot outside the crystal castle playset tonight following the announcement that Discord will not be banished for his violent actions last season. A grand jury of 9 ponies and 3 zebras decided to not banish the draconequus after months of heated deliberations.

Officer Discord, seen here in this file photo, was brought up on allegations of having destroyed the home of local zebra Zecora Rangi on basis of racial prejudice, using chaos seeds. Discord has been on record showing disdain for Princess Sparkles "Zebra Friend" shortly after the attack.

The grand jury evaluated all of the evidence presented to them by the White Flashback Potion, and despite the Zebra's viral chanting of "Our hooves up, please don't shoot, lock him up, we won't loot" decided not to banish Discord, who many claim has a history of abusing his powers maliciously.

Many have been critical of the official response of leaving Zecora "out in the woods" for several hours after the attack began, before doing anything to assist her.

Many of the members of the grand jury, including Coco Pommel, Aryanne, Surprise, Bulk Biceps, Vinyl Scratch, Rarity, and Princess Celestia, have come under fire for believing that Officer Discord's actions were "justifiable".

Royal guards have been dispatched to Ponyville to quell the unrest, and have barricaded the crystal palace where the zebras have gathered to protest the decision. At press time, the zebras have begun lobbing moltov potions at the armed guards. More on this story as it develops.

Comments (18)

  1. This is one of the best articles I've ever seen on HN. 10/10 would self-defense again

  2. #zebralivesmatter

  3. I like this alot.

  4. "When asked if violence was the answer, a protester yelled out, 'Yes!'
    This protester was then stabbed through the chest by an armored royal guard, as the protester forgot that they were going up against an opposition with size, strength and weapons at their side.

    It is of this personal reporter's opinion that this protester and others like them are complete idiots, and that acting in this fashion will not net them any sort of gain, or support by people of significance."

  5. See, things like this are why everypony gets scared when they see a zebra on the street.

  6. Funny thing is that the majority of the zebras that are rioting aren't even from the Crystal Empire. Heck, a few were even arrested from as far as Las Pegasus and I think one from San Anponio or Hooveston. Can't remember which one.

  7. OMG, as a lesbian Griffon that identifies as a Zebra this pissed me off so bad! Anyone that doesn't give a shit about this should go kill themselves, because they're literal monsters. Like, literally! #CheckYourStripes Discord, you disgusting hetero male whatever the fuck you are.

    Oh, and those riots are totally justified. When pegasi riot over sports games literally every equine thinks they're geniuses. Pfft, as if, this deserves way more fires and looting! If store owners didn't want their livelihood totally dragon'd they should have smeared their firstborn's blood on the door as a sign of support. Anyone that doesn't care enough to at least do that can go fuck themselves in literal hell while moltov bottles are thrown at their micro wangs. #ZebraLivesMatter fucktards, and any Zebras that literally don't agree with me are just too stupid to know any better. Clearly they just need to listen to my amazingly superior logic!

  8. Theres more to this than meets the eye. The fix is in, I tell you. Someone who is close to both Officer Discord and Princess Celestia is pulling the strings, I'm sure of it. Axle "Filters" Jones told me so.

    What you didn't know: If you look at the family trees of Officer Discord and Princess Celestia, you'll see something that shocks you. What, you ask?

    They're related.

    Albeit rather distantly. I think--


    Return to normal conversation. #modsarewatchingyou


  10. Somewhere in the infinite silence of time and space, my sides float quietly onward into parts unknown.

  11. >be Ponyville
    >be court case
    >some zig zog's house destroyed, Discord unintentionally destroyed it with chaos seeds
    >takes months for court case to reach a decision
    >Discord jumps up on table
    >rips mask off face
    >rip off costume
    >run out of court screaming

  12. Zebra stompout2014

  13. The lack of empathy that white people show for others is scary.

    1. I bet you fuck zebras. You got a little zig zogling running around the house? You're just flank flabbergasted because we do what we do better than everyone else. Just ask Aryanne. She'll know what to do. She ALWAYS knows what to do. And she is NEVER wrong.