Pony crime on the rise

Recently, it seems a series of pony-related crimes have occurred to put yet another embarrassing spotlight on the pony fandom. From spanking Rarity's ass in front of small children to painting the pony gospel on the side of buildings, Pony crimes are on the rise.

When one thinks of weird, depraved, and disgusting new reports, chances are the state of Florida will pop in to your head. In this case there is no exception. 19 year old horsefucker and waifu rapist Sean Johnson was strolling down the toy aisles in Walmart today, drooling at what he spied in the pink utopia. Soft pink pony plushies primed for pounding lined the rows and it seems ol' Sean couldn't help himself. 

Mr. Johnson proceeded to take a stuffed pony doll to the public love chambers (the bedding department) and then, er, had his way with the doll. After finishing his handy work, Johnson took the splooge covered slut toy back to the same spot in the hopes of ruining a child's day. Unfortunately for him, many customers saw the incident and every moment was captured on camera, leading to his arrest in Brooksville, FL.

While we at Horse News sympathize with the tormenting lust of wanting to publicly "announce" your pony love, we also realize self restraint just prevents awkward staring. And a police record. If you or anyone you know have a copy of the incident taking place, please do not hesitate to share that with us first. 

Would Sean jack off on this wall?
While it may be the unbeatable story of the day, pony crime is no new thing. On the same day, a group of little faggots tween bronies sprayed graffiti art on garage doors. Names of favorite ponies, the series itself, all were mentioned by the little edge tards. Sources say that while there will be no major charges brought up in the attempt to find the kids, the case will be turned over the school resource officer for further investigation. 

Even more? The first pony themed strip club

Comments (5)

  1. ... future girl?

  2. Oh hey, I've been to that strip club.

  3. Question, does the Pink Pony have live pony performers?

  4. The first strip club featuring an all Pinkie Pie clone cast.
    n-naked ponies, u-unf

  5. Auckland, New Zealand had a strip club called "The Pony Club" and used images of G3 ponies.