San Francisco Bay Area and BABSCon Prepare for Devastating Earthquake

A computer-generated image prediction of the Hyatt Regency SFO hotel as 'The Big One' ruptures 

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A dangerous earthquake with destructive shocks and devastating seismic waves is building up underneath the San Francisco Bay area. Dubbed "The Big One", it is forecast to rupture April 18th late at night with additional large aftershocks continuing over the next three days. The violent earthquake will have an initial quake predicted to be a magnitude 8.8 with the epicenter three miles South-East of the San Francisco International Airport, according to the United States Geological Survey.
Geologists were alerted to the danger upon learning of the estimated 2000 preregistered bronies attending BABScon in San Francisco that weekend, citing the previous magnitude 1.4 tremor that shook Baltimore at Bronycon last Summer.

The earthquake is estimated to result in a severe magnitude 8.8 on the Richter scale, and is likely to bring about massive destruction in the San Francisco Bay area and surrounding regions, with increased potential for destroyed sides and childhoods.

The earthquake's greatest potential hazard may well be its estimated 45 foot tall tsunami, caused by the displacement of the ocean water from the amount of spaghetti that will be suddenly dropped into the bay.

Dr. Kelvin Williams, a tsunami specialist at Oregon State University, warns the tsunami could be one of the most destructive in recorded history:
The tsunami generated from the San Francisco Bay is predicted to completely level all buildings and structures within half a mile of the bay's shore, including Golden Gate Bridge, the San Francisco International Airport, and the Hyatt Regency Hotel. The tsunami is also expected to travel inland another 6-8 miles.
The tremor, which will be caused by the combined force of nearly 3 thousand bronies (each weighing 300 pounds on average) jumping in rhythm creates the potential for the third-most horrific brony-related tragedy in memory.  The convention's location directly over-top of the San Andreas fault line, creates an even greater threat for the tremors to be magnified, causing widespread damage.

Map of the areas likely to be destroyed by the tsunami or laughter

The earthquake is expected to erupt late night April 18th, during the middle of the Giants vs Padres game and at the start of the BABSCon "Neighhem" music festival. The United States Geological Survey is urging those in the wake of destruction to prepare to evacuate and avoid the area, and internet users are being warned to protect their sides, which will likely be destroyed by the news.

Comments (3)

  1. God's judgement upon that sinful hive of homosexuals.

  2. This was detailed enough that I thought this was legit news. Dammit, you guys.

  3. Everyone dies. THE End.

    That's also how I'd like Season 4 to finish up.