Freelance: The Great Clop Experiment, by MLPcritic

Let's face it, we've created smut out of a little girl's show. Don't act like we're perfect. Even if you don't clop around, you support the fandom that creates it. And it’s been the cause of some suburbanite soccer mom’s woes.

So is it actually a mental threat to the young girls it's intended for?

Maybe you've heard it before. Some woman gets mad or an overly autistic white knight complains of the sheer amount of pornography there seems to be. "I can't even search it without finding tons of porn!" they scream from their keyboards. "Little girls will be ruined by this!" This left this writefag questioning the truth in this statement, and thus, an experiment began.

I conducted a highly monitored and skilled experiment, googling the simple phrase "My Little Pony". I did this once with SafeSearch on, then once with it off. I decided a stopping point of 1000 images would be sufficient, because let's face it: little girls have the attention span the size of Final Draft's dick. Along with the image searches, I also googled "My Little Pony" on the regular web results (excluding recent news posts and image results that show up) and only went back 5 pages, for the same micro penis attention span reason.

As a hypothesis, I assumed there would be just an absolutely monstrous amount of porn in every search, concluding that little girls will be scarred for life.

The results were as follows:

Web Browser Search:
Out of 250 browser results, only 4 results came up with explicit results of pornography (and those were on the last 3 pages), and 17 results, mainly forums or fanfiction sites, could lead to pornography if one searched or browsed in them.

Image Search 1 (with safesearch):
Out of 1000 image results, 23 images came up with questionable material. And that's counting 6 images of gore. In reality, only 17 results had any suggestive tones at all, and I only saw 2 images that were truly explicit. The rest were of the clothing arrangement or just how the characters seemed to be portrayed.

Image Search 2 (without safesearch):
Out of 1000 image results, 28 images came up with questionable material with the same 6 gore results, if you can believe it. Out of these, 4 were relatively explicit, but the rest were essentially fat cosplayers, swim suits and torn clothes, /a/'s runoff material, and this one picture of Purple Tinker that scared the hell out of me, which I just had to count.

So what have we learned? Thanks to Google being smarter than we think, clop is relatively kept away from the public unless you really look for it. This is why you have to add keywords relative to the fandom or literally "porn" to gets da goods. So, normally, if you find the material, especially with how bad it can actually be, it’s more than likely your own fault, because according to this, “offensive” material can be found, but you’d have to be some loner on the internet conducting an experiment.

However, it is shown that this material exists, so are the mothers correct? Is it too dangerous for their precious wittle gifts from above? Are we to blame for little Susie's giney tickling for the first time, just because she wanted to see some pretty pictures? Yes. Yes we are.

And that's magic if you ask me.


Comments (6)

  1. Excellent work. Could you make a version of your results bite-sized to hand out whenever a SJW tries to throw around that crock of shit?

  2. If you ask me, extreme gore is probably worse than most porn. What media scarring I have from my childhood all stems from overly violent media in spite of the gratuitous amount of porn I've stumbled over. Now that might just be me, but I don't think children are actually hurt by most kinds of porn, mostly because they don't even notice it.

    With that said, if anyone is to blame for screwing up the next generation, surely it must be the brony fandom. All hail princess Molestia

  3. For the record I wouldn't use this as proof of SFW because
    you know
    the thing at the end
    Just saying

  4. im going to go curl up into a ball in the corner

  5. Would be interesting to see how this compares to other shows like Adventure Time or Pokemon.

  6. Worth noting is that the odds of a little girl google searching specifically "My Little Pony" are pretty slim. More likely they will google their favorite characters, which depending on how it is typed might get a higher concentration of porn (especially if it's a really popular ship), or lower concentration (Harsh Winny probably has close to 0). Another variable is google analytics. If you have a history of browsing and especially googling porn it will likely give you those results first. So the cookies and browser histories of an individual will greatly influence the results. I get this was a joke article, but I am genuinely curious what the parameters of the experiment were. Did you do it on your personal PC? Do you personally search for clop on a regular basis? Do you use one of those shared browsing proxy dealies?

    Also, for those of you wanting some actual counter-points to SJWs, there was actually a collection of R34 MLP images before Gen 4 and thus bronies ever existed. Furries had that "My Little Porny" group on several image hosting websites like deviant art focusing on BDSM. To say bronies had any affect on the corruption of google results vastly underestimates the power of rule 34 and speaks of ignorance on how the internet actually operates (namely that it is more than 12% porn to begin with and over 30% of people are exposed to unwanted porn regardless of cartoon horses).